It sounds daft I know, especially as a mum of two young children, but I have suffered for a long time with a completely crippling fear of being tired or not getting to sleep.
I am on 40 mg of Seroxat which helps to mask the problem a bit, but as soon as I reduce anti-ds it raises it's head again.
Doctors have recommended CBT. On a long waiting list though.
It got a LOT worse after last baby (who is now 21 months old). It's sort of related to health anxiety, as I worry that if I do not get enough sleep, then I will get ill and never get better. In my 20s I had M.E. and I am absolutely scared stiff that it will come back. I have felt like this since I was mid 20s.
I do a lot of avoidance things, sometimes not even realising what I am doing. I count exactly how many hours of sleep I have, use Nytol regularly, and have lie ins when I can. I won't go out at night, or stay out late. I don't drink as it affects my sleep. I constantly check how tired I feel. My DH is very good, and always gets up with the baby, as he says he cannot cope with my paranoia/anxiety about being tired during the day.
If I reduce my medication it literally takes over my life. It's all I can think about. I had a bad episode after DS was born, and at one point was on 70Mg of Citalopram trying to cope with disabling anxiety. I have been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. I had some therapy but stopped as it made me feel terrible, and therefore very very tired! If I cry during the day atall or get upset it just knocks me for six and i feel wiped out the next day. Why is it that when I get emotional I feel so terrible the next day?!?
I am 37 years old and absolutely sick and fed up with myself. Why can't I just get on with life? I need to see the doctor again as the 40mg of Seroxat doesn't seem to be stopping all symptoms. I hold down a job, do various volunteer things, and look after the children. My relationship with my DH is fairly dire, sex probably once a year and i am touchy, paranoid and very anxious.
Anyone have the same sort of phobia? What's the matter with me!!