want it over

[dottyspotty2]

I know I'm going to get shouted at here but I'm past caring had enough wish I hadn't started this had horrendous week last week lost any remaining family who aren't involved torn them apart. I had a great day out with my friend on Monday she came with me to take DD2 and friend to concert in Glasgow as couldn't do it alone then a massive come down on Tuesday DH had to take over me sorting bills as I was shaking so badly recovered by evening find that night time is easier atm as long as I don't overthink things. Had to go to collect DD1's car yesterday and had a bit of adrenaline rush last night was cleaning until really late feel rotten again today really down. Took my last tablet for helping with sleep last night seriously thinking of not getting anymore just want to up sticks and leave now.

Hang in there Dotty and persevere with the counselling. It will get better. It's a shame that your family have shown their true colours and are behaving like twunts, but you have true friends and you will get through this x

Really don't think I can take much more every time I try to get back to normality I get knocked back even worse. I've been researching things on internet how everything works and it scares me even more.Only get 10-12 sessions with counsellor had 8 now so i'm screwed need to find a way on my own I know I have online support but its RL and I don't think I can I just feel such a weak person and opening this can of worms has caused everyone including myself so much pain and damage I was fine before, getting on with life no problems. I went away for a break as I 'needed' it according to everyone else but might as well of not bothered as i'm back to square one.

It is too early to aim for normality - just do what you need to do to get through each day the way you feel. Trying to be normal will just exhaust you. Don't do everything for everyone, like picking your dd's car up you can't right now. Trying to prove that you can doesn't help or work.

Plus you told me there was the possibility of more counselling beyond these sessions, what happened to that?

I have to finish these sessions then if it goes to court I can call up and then go back if they have space.

She asked me to pick it up she was on 12 hour shift needed done yesterday they wanted it gone before new registration today, was just messed up they missed details so was hanging around waiting was meant to be sign forms exchange keys and come home.