Could I be depressed?

[tryingtobeobjective]

Have name changed to be able to be utterly honest but I've been around a couple of years.

I'm seeing a GP next week after a couple of close friends said they thought I could be depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a 3 year old and 20 month old. I've been hunting for a PT job for nearly a year with no joy. I've a stressed out working DH who isn't able/willing (?) to give me any regular breaks and who struggles to look after both DC alone, even at home, for half a day. Our relationship has been under a lot of pressure though we are working on it.

I am tired all the time. Exhausted. I force myself up in the morning when they wake. They both sleep through rarely waking before 7am. I should be fine for sleep though it is light so I know I wake a few times each night. By lunchtime I am able to fall asleep on the sofa if I lay my head down and I don't fall asleep quickly at night so it feels like passing out I'm so tired.

Tiredness makes me irritable, frustrated, impatient. I feel trapped into a full time endless role of caring even though I have evening breaks when they sleep and I do enjoy reading and films still, when I get to them.

The only time I get bursts of energy is if someone is coming to visit, then I run about cleaning and tidying and feel ok. Other times I struggle to find the energy to get us all dressed and out the door, though not if we have a deadline like meeting someone.

I'm taking caffeine pills, drinking coke or lemonade, eating sweets or chocolate just to stay awake and try to keep going. I do the bare minimum of housework and I go out with the kids every day even if just to the local shop or playgroup.

I have low blood pressure but I had blood tests a couple of months ago that said I am not aneamic and my thyroid is fine.

Could it really be depression?

Ahhh that sounds like me! Have you been stalking my life lmao! Yes I think a little depression plus the fact you don't have much time that isn't quality adult time, I find I have nothing to say to friends unless its about children and forget how to interact, also feel well guilty for lack of housework and feel uncomfortable if people pop in unannounced even tho it's not that bad, I have booked a session with a councillor so that I can talk open and honestly about how I'm feeling without feeling like I'm being judged for feeling completely trapped isolated and then feeling like an awful mother for feeling all of the above! The lack of energy doesn't help but drinking lots of caffeine won't help as that will dehydrate you and have an impact on sleep all the more try to break that routine of napping in the ay if you do and If you can I would say eat better drink plenty of water get some blackout blinds for your room and go to an exercise class or something that you enjoy as mad as that sounds the endorphins will make yo feel better and give you more energy plus it's you time and new faces friends environment! Good luck x