How can I help my DD?

[Meikyo]

DD(9) lives with me but usually stays overnight with her Dad, my ex H one night a week. Ex H suffers chronic anxiety and depression. He is on meds (don't know what) that seem to leave him spaced out and v sleepy.

DD getting v upset that her Dad is not getting better (condition has been ongoing for years) - she says she just wishes he was more active and could do things with her. She says he lies on the sofa most of the time she is there and she just watches TV.... DD is aware her Dad has issues but she just wants him to be like other dads...

I have every sympathy with your ex H but I don't think it is good for your daughter to stay overnight. You say she is getting very upset as her dad isn't getting better, and it sounds like her dad has chronic depression. Can you talk to him about your daughter's distress, and maybe you could change the contact arrangements so that he could at least do something with her, even if it's just playing a board game if he is not up to taking her out.

Does your daughter take things to occupy her, colouring,pen,books or whatever she is interested in.

NN, thanks for your reply. From time to time ex H has meltdowns too and we jointly agree to limit contact with DD at those times. (Or contact is supervised by ex H's sister).

DD usually has drawing stuff/books etc to hand as well as access to laptop so she does not get bored. Last night DD got very upset about her Dad's condition. I think it's just that recently she has realised how different her Dad is from other Dads and he isn't getting any better. Ex H has been depressed for years so DD hasn't really known him any other way. He does have the odd good day, but rarely. Fortunately she does have other male role models such as her uncle and my partner who are both much more active/sporty and do stuff with her.

Tonight I have had to bring her home from her Dad's as he is not feeling well..