PTSD info/diagnosis/support thread?

[TheLaminator]

My GP has "suggested" I may be suffering PTSD (with a nod to "complex" although this is not really recognised) due to the responces I`ve been having to the recent surfacing of repressed memories of abuse in my childhood.

I have done a lot of my own research & spoken in depth with a few friends who work in fields where they deal with people suffering with this for simeler reasons. They & I agree that this is probably a diagnosis in the right direction.

I have been reffared to my local mental heath team & have been fast tracked to level3. (I believe this skips basic cbt & moves on to trauma based cbt) Although there will be a three month wait for therapy after my assesment.

I had a massive melt down/crisis over christmas (umpteen triggers) tthe worst ever. I`m now estranged from the rest of my family.

I feel it is time to start changing my life for good, for me, my husband & our kids. Ive had 30 shitty years, Im aiming for a least forty good ones.

I have my doubts about CBT and really would prefer to see a psychotherapist who specialises in trauma related to abuse. I`ve been told I will be working with a "Psychological Wellbeing Practioner" at my local mental health provission. They have been likened (on thier own website) to Life Coaches. This concerns me slightly, as these are the people who will be assessing my mental health & suggesting treatment/therapy.

We have made contact with a counselling service and feel this may be benficial to us as a couple, to help talk through coping as a family.
Personally, im considering private therapy with a specialist. I dont think councelling only is going to cut it for me, Im ready to put in tough hard work to put meaning to so many things about my so far, crazy little life.

Anyone out there with knowlegde or experience of this process? Has anybody found anything that has really helped with their recovery?
Any advice would be greatly apprieciated. TIA.

Yes, I too had complex PTSD and also due to repressed child abuse issues that came back to me during a very traumatic labour with ds.

I had 3 sets of therapy - first with an NHS practice therapist who was very gentle and we did about 14 sessions mainly aimed to stabilise me. That was the max she could give me and I was referred on to a specialist charity in my area and they offered me further counselling which was abuse focussed and helpful. I had about a year off after that but found I wasn't finished as I really struggled with anxiety. I have recently had ten sessions with a fab private psychologist who has helped me with a mix of EMDR and abuse focused psychotherapy. I think I needed all 3 to be honest, but if you can afford it go with a good private therapist. Avoid mental wellbeing practitioners. If you live anywhere near Coventry or Stratford let me know and I will pm you the details of my psychologist - she is highly qualified and specialised.

thanks madmouse, So sorry to hear your story. My flashbacks started when I was pregnant with my DS1 :(
Yes, I think a combo of therapies will be the way forward for me too.

Im not sure Im stable enough for cbt. Im not totally convinced by it as therapy for complex ptsd. There is a small note about EMDR on the local nhs MH website, ill investigate this more. It might be worth me asking for this rather than cbt?

I know there is no fast track through recovery, but thought maybe If I begin to stabalise with a private therapist then I might be more receptive to cbt in 3 months when this will be available?
We cant really afford therapy but are prepared to do some serious belt tightening & sell some stuff to make it happen.

"Avoid mental wellbeing practitioners." Love this sentence!!! no explanation needed :) Unfortunatly I have to see one of them before I can see anyone else (so the system says!)
I`ll give em a shot...but do think we are on our own really.
We are further north than you, MM, but thanks for offer of contacts. We are in quite a big city, with its own mini harley street, so therapists of all shapes and sizes are here to chose from, just got to plough through the crystal suckers and head shrinkers to find one that fits.

Im also exploring Budhism, mindfullness & meditation. Ive never really allowed myself to seek out or indulge my spiritual side before.

Your reply sounds as if you feel you have recovered, this is good to know. I have a feeling I`ll never really be free of it all, maybe there is hope.
thanks again.

Yes I have recovered even though it will always be painful.

If it helps - I was in a very bad way. Suicidal, hurting myself, not seeing the way out, believing dh and ds better off without me, constant flashbacks, nothing in my life making sense anymore...

and yet I recovered. Believe in it. Believe in yourself.

It is not for everyone but the book The Courage to Heal has been extremely important to me. It's been my second bible, after the Bible.

oh, i could be writting that MM :(
This Christmas was make or break for me, it has been close to break for too long.
I believe I deserve to be happy & my family deserve the best bits of me all of the time.
I want to believe there is another way to live.
Well done to you!! I hope i get there too.

Ive ordered that book from the library, in next week. im looking forward to starting it :)

Have you come across any in-depth but not overly academic info for parents/families of people abused in childhood? I can only really seem to find heavy wordy stuff or info aimed at parents of children who are still young.
My parents & brother are in complete denial. I cant explain, my husband had tried to explain... if you have any links that would be great.

Thank you for sharing, its refreshing to be able to ask questions without having to explain :)

That book has a pretty good partners/friends section.

There is also some decent if brief stuff on the website of the organisation that offered me counselling Safeline

Feel free to ask questions by private message if there is something you don't want to post on here.

Great, checking out that link now.
MN has been a massive help to me in my mainly lurker capacity. Chatting now has be so helpful & may take you up on your offer.thanks again :)

I am having EMDR on the NHS with a therapist who specialises in ptsd. I was referred after assessment by a psychiatrist, so hopefully they will suggest it for you rather than cbt.

It is odd, to say the least, but I cannot tell you how well it has worked on me.

I had to get out of the room in anyone mentioned labour after a traumatic birth with ds and after ONE session I can chitchat normally with other mothers about it. I don't know if I am particularly receptive or suggestible or whatever but she is now working on other stuff and I feel so different about a lot of things that have been haunting me and making me feel worthless for decades.

Personally I don't think cbt would be much help for ptsd. You need to tease out what happened, release it, not just focus on getting you to behave differently.

That is so awful about your family. But do remember it is not up to you to justify yourself, this is how you feel and behave, getting help for you and your immediate family is the most important thing.

Be aware some couples counselling would not see you at the same time as you are having individual counselling as it just too much for you to deal with - maybe not the case everywhere but that is what we were told.

I've not had dx of PTSD but have trauma, stress, anxiety, suffer flashbacks, nightmares and hate going out alone especially in busy spaces. I am going through counselling at rape crisis but only have a few sessions left that scares me I need to find out what happens next. I have possible court case this year due to childhood abuse sometimes wonder if its worth all the pain I've caused myself and family. I've came close to ending it twice since disclosing it and thought of it even more times than I care to remember.

That makes sense, SMTP, about the couples counselling & tbh DH should probably find a counsellor himself...he`s got his own can of worms :( But he his great, me & the kids adore him.

Thats exactly how I feel about cbt. Ill go to my assesment armed with the knowledge I can request EMDR. Ive read/heard other storys like yours, quite amazing. I must research more. I cant help thinking I`m on the Least Suggestable end of the scale when it comes to personality...put that on the list of stuff to fix :)

Cheers, i`m trying not to shoulder too much parent stuff. Its been easy not seeing them sadly. but the way it has to be, for now?

If it will take a while before you get help, just concentrate on surviving for now. My mum, brother are very about therapy but whatever, they've never had any so what would they know. I don't want my problems to affect ds and that is more important to me than what they think.

Same with my dh. I think its no coincidence me and him chose someone else with ishooos.

Try not to pre-judge it, whether it will suit you, you need to go with what they suggest. While wearing headphones. I feel a prat and then think wow this is really working, then feel a prat for a bit, then wow etc.

Relaxation, meditation etc have been recommended to me a lot during the process from various people I have seen (we moved regions in the middle of this crap, so I was under a different team before). I am not very good at relaxing but it has still helped, definitely worth pursuing.

Laminator I'm a lawyer - I was the last one to actually believe my own memories (after my dh, friends and therapist).

I was far from sure about EMDR but have been astonished at the result. Very painful memories turned black and white in one session. I need to actively work at remembering the same thing now. And believe me I tried hard enough to prove to myself it didn't work. But it has worked.

What it does is 'date stamp' the memories as 'past' rather than 'present' so they are no longer around all the time.

dotty have you been to your gp too? It can take a while depending on your area but better to get your name down on the list. My therapist told me I can go back to gp for another referral for more sessions if I feel I still need it.

Hi Dotty.
A court case, wow, you are so brave!
Ive not had a diagnosis either...I pretty much told my gp what I thought I had, she nodded & reffared me to mental health team. But, I had to lay it on the line with her, link all my years of symptoms for her, spell it out for her. I was quiet cold and unemotinal about it. I didnt cry, which was very wierd for me. Although I dont think a diagnosis is really nessecery if <span class="italic">you</span> <span class="italic">know</span>its all connected? I had coucelling at a rape crisis centre too, but gave up much sooner than you. Try and look for an abuse coucellor locally, to continue your councelling??. Do you have someone helping you with the court case?...how much control do you have?, because that would freak me out tbh. There must be a local agency who can help you... I hope you can keep up your councelling if it working, but maybe try push your GP for more specialised psychotherapy? I feel it is what I need, maybe not for you. the waiting list & system in my area is overloaded & inadequet, you might have better luck. I keep trying to remind myself that the pain has to be worth it, ive never not suffered pain of some sort or another & I deserve a pain free life, as do you Dotty.

Cheers,possitive EMDR feedback. im definatley looking into it more. Cant believe how much id actually judged that it was not for me, without really looking into.

Showmethepony my counselor is a PTSD counselor she describes how I feel to a tee went through an anxiety work sheet with her and it was scary how nearly every scenario described me. I'm hoping its just a break I have to have if not I'll speak to local DC, the one who's handling it is down south cits complicated because I'm in Scotland and I grew up in Lancashire. Both DC'c and GP are fantastic I see GP every 4 weeks she put me on AD's in November as I was close to a breakdown.

I'm not brave at all but terrified I never thought it through at the time thought it wouldn't effect me whatsoever.

Dotty, can it not be put on hold till you feel more stable? Maybe MadMouse might know how it works?
Good that you have sympathetic GP... I`ve never seen the same doctor twice at my surgery, 12 day wait for the last requested Dr. :(

Sorry, whats a DC ?

I was refused by local team GP made urgent referral after me telling her I came within seconds of going head on into a lorry intentionally.

Because I'm under rape crisis, but she got me info on private counselling.

Detective Constable.

ah, DC`s! thanks.

So crap that we have to look prrivate for these services. I hope you find something that suits.

Im glad you didnt go under that lorry. Starting this thread was pretty tough for me, but Im glad that I did. stick around, ill be popping back. Maybe well both find the help we need.

Request to see your gp sooner if you feel you have to.

No I'm sorry it cannot be put on hold. First of all it is not Dottys case, it is the Crown's case against her brother in which she is 'only' a witness. Secondly postponing the case may and in this case probably will lead to loss of evidence as the family relationships are so fraught.

Dotty it is time to contact Victim Support.

Ah, I see. Thanks Madmouse, you obviously know a bit more about Dottys case.
Victim support sounds like a good idea.
I know a counselling service local to me that can sometimes offer an advocate for victims, for support with dealing with complaints against services & legal matters - maybe there is something like that up by you Dotty?

Bit of a crap day for me today. It seems EMDR is not available on the NHS in my area :( I`m reserching neighbouring health authoroties to see if is available there.
Private EDMR therapy is nearly double the price :( rubbish.

My psychologist charges £60 an hour which is not too bad. Any chance you can get to her?

From what madmouse has said the EMDR works wonders IMHO it would be worth it for you. I'm quite happy with my counseller she is fab but I found out the timescale involved until the next stage this morning so not as worried.

That is cheaper than I have found here MM, but I`d spend at least the difference getting there & back unfortunatley.

Ive a short list of therapist, some say fees can be discussed. So i`m thinking, forget about the cost for now & try to find someone that fits & figure out the money later?

Oh that is so awful that it is not available for you on the nhs. I feel very fortunate now.

It may only take a few sessions to see if it is suitable for you so if you can afford it I would go for it. Taking action is better than stewing.