So boring and lonely where I live - not bothered for myself but for DCs

[sensesworkingovertime]

Hello. The heading says it in a nutshell. I have a DS (12 ) and a DD (10) and I just feel that where we live is so rubbish for them, and me but I'm not that bothered for myself.
We live at the bottom of an avenue mainly populated by people over 60 or 70. We hardly see a soul, no children playing, no one walking down the road, nothing. Even on the road next to us we hardly see a soul. Infact the whole of my 'town' seems to be like this when I have taken walks through it, even on a sunny day it doesn't bring any children or anyone out hardly.

I dread the school holidays because of this as I feel they have just got each other and then they tend to argue a lot. I know this is normal brother and sister stuff but feel it wouldn't be so bad if they had others around. There are one set of grandparents who have their grandson over a lot, thank goodnesss and they are friendly with him but he is the only other child I see visiting here. To be honest, I've seen livelier graveyards. It's really getting me down so just wanted to share it here. Any sympathy is welcome.

ah, doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs. That said, my own childhood was exactly that so I can't imagine anything else. If it's any consolation they may not know what they are missing - I didn't. I spent ages playing on my own or with our dog. :)

Not much consolation. My social skills are great now, though they were behind for a while. :)

Can school friends not be invited for visits etc? :)

Thank you for your reply (it's amazing how 'how often do you change your bedding' warrants 500 plus replies but someone feeling crap and lonely doesn't ! Yes I've tried that option but it has always come to a dead end, I'm at the stage now where I don't suggest too much anymore, they are at an age where they need to be able to sort out their own social lives a bit.

We are in a similar position to you. The road we live along is lovely... lots of people comment on how nice it is (I'm talking about delivery drivers and so on). We are very fortunate in that respect. But our neighbours are all quite elderly (and many even spend months at a time abroad so their homes are not even occupied) and so it is a lonely, lonely place for a child to grow up. So much so, that we are planning to move house in the summer (assuming we can sell up).

I don't have loads of friends, but I have enough to keep me from being lonely, but if I don't make the effort to meet up with someone, I could probably go for weeks without seeing another soul at home.

Would moving be an option for you?

Hi have u any transport?are there any local clubs in your area for u and the kids?

Senses Ha! That is so true!

Hard to know what to suggest really as unless a cyclone dumps your house in the emerald city you're stuck as you are. Suppose all we can offer, is a hug and sympathy.

Sometimes I get frustrated at the Hurculean effort it takes to keep the social contacts going. People get wrapped up in their own lives and its so easy to not bother with visits etc. Then other days, I don't mind cos I realise it is human nature to not make the effort so if someone (me) does, the result is worth it. So disheartening when your invitations fall flat time and again though isn't it.

Do your dc's mention it? Or do you think you're more bothered for them thean they are?

My dh wants to move more into the sticks - we are quite urban currently, but I am concerned dc's will end up in your position. We are rural folk at heart but so much depends on your child, some would thrive on the outdoors and freedom and some would wither on the vine without lots of friends and playing out etc. hmmmmm

thankyou for all your replies. Unfortunately I don't drive which means we are a bit more stuck when DH not here. The children don't complain as such as they don' t really know anything else but sometimes say or write something in a story I find , for example my daughter wrote ' the only thing that happens here is that the planes fly overhead' ! They do go to activity clubs but obviously that's limited due to time and money.

It would not be practical to move because we actually moved here to get away from living on a street that was totally the opposite with hoards of horrendous antisocial neighbours who let their kids run amok and we had a paedophile for a next door neighbour! In other words, we have gone from one extreme to the other. The sad thing is we did have one or two nice people with children living there which we were forced to leave, even the police couldn't get on top of things despite constant phonecalls and letters so we had to move in with family just to escape! I can cope when it's school time but school holidays are long and hard, oh well, only another 5 or so years to go...