I am really struggling with staying safe at the moment. I think a lot about self harm and I have self harmed in the past. My self harm has been quite dodgy in the past and I am scared of that but equally I felt drawn to hurting myself again. I just feel like I don't want to be here doing this, like I don't want to be in my own skin anymore and self harm helps me with that. I don't know. I feel like if I bleed I will feel better. I really want to feel better.
I have been badly bullied at work recently and left my job because of it so I am job hunting. I work in quite a stressful profession and so being bullied in that sort of environment was almost intolerable.
My husband is very supportive but I feel unable to talk to him about myself harm because I don't want to scare him. I am so scared he will leave me if I self harm again (even though rationally I know he won't if that makes sense).
I don't know what to do really. I have a great therapist and I am on citalopram. I have talked to my therapist about this.