I dont really know where to start, but Im not feeling great.
I just want to cry or sleep or both. I have no motivation or energy to do anything. I have done the school run this morning and will obviously do it later because I know I have no choice, but anything else I should do, but dont have to is just not going to get done. I feel close to tears a lot of the time and really tired.
I was meant to be losing weight, but that has taken a sideline now as has my shredding I was doing on a night. I just dont have the motivation any more.
I know its probably a combination of things, but I feel worse because of the snow. It snowed on Sat afternoon and evening and since then Ive been feeling like shit to be honest. I was panicking about this last weekend as last year we were bombarded with snowballs for over 2 hours (I did have a thread in AIBU regarding this) and I have been worried this year. Its not been too bad, but we have had snowballs thrown at our house every day since Sat and its just making me feel worse. There's only 4 or 5 a day, but it is every day and I just cant take it any more.
We have been offered another house (we are council) back in November, but they are taking their time in getting it sorted so we have not moved as yet. Im just fed up of waiting.
Ive also been panicking about driving in the snow (another thread I had in AIBU regarding wanting to leave my car in the garage). I get anxious driving anyway as Im always worried I break down (even though I have AA membership and make sure I have a fully charged topped up phone) and the car has problems which I cant afford to get fixed. I need the car as where we are moving too is a little village in the middle of nowhere so with no car we cant move so Im stuck here where I really am not happy.
I know I need a focus like work, but I cant get a job as Im moving an hour and half drive away so need to wait until we can move then I can look for work near by, but Im worried about getting to work as there is no bus service where we are moving too so will need the car even more (even though Im not 100% certain we can afford the repairs - not until we've saved enough)
I just feel so down and sad and am close to tears. I know some of you will tell me to go to the doctors, but I dont think I can just yet. I have thought about it before as I get anxiety about walking down my street when the children are playing out. The snow isnt going anywhere as we had quite a lot and have had no sun to melt it. Now it looks like it will snow again tonight and half term is next week so that leads to me constantly looking out the street watching the children throw snowballs at my house (or at least watching them to make sure they are just playing so I can relax)
Sorry to pour it all out, but I dont know what else to do. I just want to talk to someone, but no-one professional (ie dont want to go to the doctors or speak to MIND or who-ever). I just want to get it off my chest :(