Anxiety is ruining my life...anyone got any pearls of wisdom?

[journoem]

I've suffered from depression and anxiety for about 5 years and have seen counsellors in the past but always for depression. I recently had a bit of a lightbulb moment and realised that I'm probably depressed because of my crippling anxiety (Why it took me 5 years to realise I have no idea). I think I'm absolutely right and so I've sought help and am now on anti depressants and have just started counselling.

My problem is that though I think the meds and the counselling will work eventually (I've had one week on the meds and 1 counselling session so far, the counselling was a big help) I've got things to do this week that are freaking me out and I can't cope :(

I'm a uni student and I study journalism which involves a lot of practical stuff. Last year I was supposed to do a broadcast module in which I would talk on camera, prepare radio interviews and the like but I just couldn't do it - I had panic attacks, major freak outs about it and I ended up just not doing it (which I have to redo this year or fail my degree, but that's another story)

Tomorrow I have to present a news piece to camera and I am beginning to feel panicky and anxious about it and it's causing me to put it off - I have to write and memorise the story but I haven't even started yet :( I know that I need to take more responsibility and be more proactive but as anyone with experience of anxiety will know, its hard when I am so so frightened.

Does anyone have any tips they can give me for calming down and making me see that even if I'm rubbish at it it's not the end of the world and I can do it?

This was long, so thank you if you've got this far!

At such short notice it's only a bit of symptom management that can be done:

Breathe - in for four out for four - low in your tummy. As often as you can. You may find your holdiong tension in your chest and are breathing poorly.

Try Rescue Remedy - you can buy spray and lozenges in big supermarkets and pharmacies. Not everyone feels it helps, I do.

A key phrase I learned in tackling my anxiety: Where is the evidence. Where is the evidence that I cannot do this, that I'm rubbish, that I'll mess it up etc. (Or for me where's the evidence that this cold and cough my ds has will lead to him dying of leukemia or some mysterious virus...don't ask!!)

I suffer from bouts of depression and I can get anxious.My problems stem mostly from money worries now and the fact that I'm getting older! However, years ago I went to Uni and did a teaching degree. I felt insecure but forced myself to interact (I used to imagine I was a person I knew who was confident and happy in my mind and imitate her-which did help me-maybe you can do this?). I even acted on stage!I was determined to have good experiences that I could look back on when I was older and so I really enjoyed uni. I left and taught supply in primary schools, mostly tough inner city ones. Although I had some good experiences and enjoyed teaching the children I was convinced I was a poor teacher but managed to put on an act.
BTW,when I was a child my elder brother apparently was jealous of me and made my life alittle hellish most days and constantly belittled me amongst other stuff until I was 15. I am convinced my poor self-image stems from then. I think possibly cognitive therapy may have helped but never thought of it back then. I see you are having counselling now-is it the cognitive type? I believe this can be effective. I hope it will give you the strength to believe in yourself more.
As for your Presentation tomorrow- just start writing- it may be weak to start with but once you get going more ideas start to flow in you and before you know it it'll be done and you'll be happy at your achievement!! Next step is realising that everyone is unique and they may really like your unique style of presenting? Give them a chance to see what you have got. Don't worry about responsibility at this stage just take each step as it comes. All the best :)

Thank you for the replies, they help a lot - especially what madmouse said about 'where's the evidence' - I'm going to repeat this to myself all day!

Moretolife, I'm not sure what type of counselling I'm having... My counsellor has said that her approach to it will be more led by me and that she'll suggest her ideas as we go along, but apart from that I don't know. Doesnt help that I know nothing about CBT so I'll read up on it and see!

I will pretend to be confident if I can and think about how I'm going to feel if I do it and how shit I'll feel if I chicken out. I see my counsellor about 4 hours after I'm done with the workshop, which is bad timing but at least I can go through my thoughts and fears with her afterwards.

Practical suggestions forvtomorrow.

1. Write it down. Keep it short. And say it to yourself out loud over and over and over and over again until its automatic. Must be out loud!
2. Don't look straight own the lens but past it at the top if the camera, it's less intimidating but means your eyeline will still feel like its straight into camera.
3. To loosen up and get rid of tension just before a take, jump around and do something physical for a minute,

You will be fine. And you will feel great when it's done. Even seasoned presenters get nervous, just deep breathe, focus, believe in yourself and go for it.

Do you have an iPod or similar? There are lots of short audio books on relieving anxiety on ITunes you could download. I have one that lasts about 7 minutes and I sometimes play it on the train in to work if I am facing a day that may cause my anxiety to shoot through the roof. It's basic breathing and guided meditation but I find them very useful - they distract me as much as anything else!

I also try and remind myself that 'It doesn't matter if I am not perfect and mess up slightly'. By that I mean, it'll be ok if you stutter a word slightly, it's not like you're doing a real live news two-way! Try not to be so hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know!)

On a practical level, remember that no-one else knows the words you're having to memorise, so they won't know if you do a little bit of improv on the spot! Can you try and remember trigger / cue words that get you from one spot to another?

And YY to Rescue Remedy - I prefer the pastilles for work (even if they are placebo!) as the spray can be a little obvious and I hate the idea of people thinking I've had a drink!

And remember, many many many many many many many (you get the idea!) live with anxiety and depression - you won't be the only person in the room feeling like you do.

Good luck!

How did you get on? I realise I'm too late to help today, but thought this may be a small help in the future.

A few years ago I had to speak publicly in front of a roomful of people and, as a fellow long term anxiety sufferer, it damn near crippled me. I was so frightened I had to remain seated the whole time as I was scared I would visibly shake or even collapse, made no eye contact and read from my notes as quickly as possible just desperate for the whole thing to end.

Unelievably I was then asked to come back a while later and speak again. I had to think long and hard about accepting the offer but I did and this time I approached it differently- this time I stood there and in my head I said to m anxiety- ok then, BRING IT ON- make me shake, make me stutter, make me look a total arse. And you know what happened? Absolutely nothing.

Its the fighting it that tenses your body and triggers the whole mind/body stress response. Its like when I was a teenager and I used to have panic attacks where I convinced myself I was either dying or going completely insane. I never did either so if I get that feeling again now again I say right then, bring it on. And I'm still alive.

By the way, after the second talk I did 2 women approached me and asked for advice with public speaking- I was stunned and had to stop myself laughing and asking if they were actually kidding me.

Racingmind, that's amazing, well done you!

The day didn't go too badly, I was extremely nervous and as a result my piece to camera was laughably bad. I just wanted to get through it and as a result I rushed it and it sounded awful! But I have no aspirations to be a news presenter so I'm not too bothered
The worst part was that the tutor played every piece to the rest of the class...my heart was beating so loudly and I just wanted to run away but then I looked around and no one else seemed bothered so I just took some deep breaths, convinced myself that even if it was shite it's not like I'm in a class with Huw Edwards

So I got through it ok even though it was horrible! the advice here really helped, thank you so much

My heart wasn't beating loudly, not like anyone could hear anyway, I meant more that it was beating hard and fast and making me feel sick. I should really preview things before I post