please help

[humanmagicmarker]

I'm new to this site, but need some help or reassurance from those in a similar situation.

When my son was born I got post natal depression - felt like I'd lost 'myself' to this small boy, and resented him, then felt guilty for that resentment. I felt better for a while, but he is now 2 and the same feelings are crashing back upon me. I feel like I can't cope, I'm very tense when I'm with him on my own because I feel I can't handle it.
I've had therapy but no drugs to deal with this before, but now I'm wondering about the drugs - they scare me but is that my next option?

thanks for nothing, everyone.

Sorry you've not had a response and I'm probably not much use but bumping for you in case someone can help. Sounds like you might need to go to your GP to talk about how you're feeling?

PS I do remember ds's both being 2/3 and they were very difficult years - just so flipping exhausting...

scared of getting addicted and of side effects - I have severe emetophobia.

Did you have medication for the PND? Sorry you're feeling like this, it IS a trying time. Have you spoken to anyone about it? A health visitor, GP, family etc?

my partner knows I'm having a hard time but doesn't know everything cos I'm ashamed to admit a lot of the things I'm feeling. I've had talking therapies, and CBT for the emetophobia, but none of the talking seems to have worked. I was also made redundant at xmas and am about to get married - I have NO cold feet about that, but the stress of the organisation of even a small wedding (20 people) is probably contributing.

I'm wondering if drugs are the only route left?

Well they certainly are helpful to some. I would really make an appointment to see your GP. Please don't feel ashamed, it's nothing to feel ashamed of and the GP will have dealt with feelings like this a thousand times before. The redundancy can't have helped things either, sorry for that :(

human....sorry to hear of how you are feeling. Everyday stresses are bad enough sometimes but planning a wedding & caring for a toddler- is overwhelming.
Do not be ashamed of how you are feeling...talk to someone you can trust in RL. You don't necessarily have to take anti-depressants. There are alternative medicines that have little or no side affects & will be less addictive. Dont suffer in silence.

You could have just bumped your post instead of saying 'thanks for nothing' - at this forum we tend to be quite nice to each other.

Could it be that you are finding toddlerhood a challenge and that is bringing things back? Two years olds can be very demanding creatures right in the middle of developing strong little personalities.

Don't be ashamed of what you are feeling - we do not choose how we feel, it happens. Feelings cannot be right or wrong they just are. So it would probably help if you did share with someone - partner, good friend, or therapist. They would probably help you put some of your shame to rest.

If you are depressed some ADs can really help for a while. You may also benefit from some more counselling.

just to say I know it isn't the answer for everyone but dp took Sertraline about 10 years ago (an AD) for post natal depression after having ds1 and I ended up on Sertraline a few years ago to tackle stress/anxiety and it really helped both of us.

Neither of us was sick with it and we were both off it after about six months. Dp also has emetaphobia so I understand your anxieties. Sometimes an AD can just help adjust things and make life more bearable/copable while you sort stuff out.

Sounds like there's lots and lots going on in your life which was just how I felt when I got very stressed out and anxious about work in 2007/8. Definitely go and have a chat with your GP - good luck!