I'm hoping someone on here might have some insight or experience that might help me.
I went to the Dr today to finally seek help for what I think is Ante natal Depression. I am feeling very low, quite unable to find "joy" in this pregnancy, even though it is much wanted. I had a miscarriage shortly before I fell pregnant, and it's like the grief from that seeped over and I just can't get excited about it. Work has been a nightmare. My boss is toxic and has been no better (worse in fact) since finding out I am pregnant. We have a history of her going behind my back to make complaints about me to senior management rather than talking to me. She has been two faced and unsupportive and working with her puts me on edge.
I have been having dizzy spells and nightmares about going to work, and I decided to bite the bullet and ask to be signed off. This happened and it's all fine, I have 2 weeks work free to get in touch with my counsellor, rest up and consider my options (one being to resign and GTFO) before seeing the Dr again to reassess. Brilliant.
Except that she brought up recent SS involvement. Some very pleasant individual submitted a fabricated complaint to SS about us a few months back. That was easily disproved first visit, but the SW was like a terrier with a bone, and turned our life upside down looking for some other problem that wasn't there. She filed inaccurate reports, accused me of lying when I complained to her superior and generally caused a lot of stress and upset. We just got that file closed. I really can't deal with that again, I don't want to be talking to her about my MH history. I have a social anxiety disorder, a stranger in my home is a nightmare for me, a stranger openly judging the way I live and accusing me (with no evidence) of neglecting my child is much worse.
So can anyone put my mind at rest? Will the Dr tell SS that I have MH issues now? Will they send someone or just keep a note? Can I request a different SW?
The Dr suggested I asked the HV to come and talk to me at home, I am happy to do that as she is a lot nicer than the SW, more understanding of what normal family life involves and less threatening. Hopefully she can see that DS is not at risk and all would be OK?
I do have a history of MH issues (anxiety and SH) but that was dealt with before DS was born and was related to my job more than anything else. I did very well with counselling, and I plan to return to my old counsellor to talk about this. Mostly I feel right now that my body is just telling me to rest up, and make a cocoon to grow my baby in without all the toxic crap that work brings, but I am really scared they are going to try and say DS is at risk and I'm a terrible mother, when I have just worked my arse off to get SS out of my life.