I can't take any more

[TheVeryEnd]

I feel like I don't even exist any more, other than for the hour before my kids leave for school in the morning and the few hours after they get home in the evening before they go to bed.

I don't speak to other adults unless I'm buying something in a shop. I have no family, no support, no life, no job. I'm nothing. I don't see any way of this getting any better. My DD is 11 and my DS is 13 and they're sharing a bedroom. I have zero chance of getting any help moving to somewhere else, so I'm about to give up my bedroom too. I feel like I don't even exist any more.

Hey! You're doing the best job you can and that is being there for your children.

Most days I never speak to anyone but the cashier in the supemarket.

Hold on! You are important for your children, and things will get better.

If you are not working can you volunteer in the community? That would get you out and about.

Sorry I can't be more help. I know where you're coming from though.

I'm ill, I suffer with depression and anxiety. I have no family at all. I have nobody but my children in my life at all.

I hear you.

My son's family is all in africa, my own family don't live in my country either.

Are you getting help with your depression and anxiety? Me personally, I don't want to take any medication if I feel down.

I just know my child needs me, so that pulls me through.

Please go and see your doctor. Maybe just having counselling can help you..
it did me. (when you find the right counsellor).

Hi TheVeryEnd you are doing a very important job in bringing up your children and based upon what you've said you're a dedicated, devoted, caring, selfless mum as well.

In addition to volunteering, are there any activities locally you can get to, at the library, at the local leisure centre, a night school / collage course you could do? Perhaps think about yourself & learn a new skill for when the kids are old enough & you can go back to work or do something fun, take up s hobby?

Have you spoken to your local council office / the housing benefit people (sorry I don't know exactly which dept you need) because they will help you get a bigger house. I understand there are rules for what ages brothers & sisters can share rooms till. You need to have a bed yourself.

Perhaps another MNer knows more about this?

As the tv ad says "you're worth it"!!

Sorry I missed the bit re depression. I've suffered with this in the past (for 4 years) in
my morally untrained opinion the key things are to acknowledge that you have an
Illness , seek help for it and find like minded people to share the highs & lows with or just to listen. Perhaps your GP can refer you to a group or for CBT ?

Group therapy is great. It really helped me with the domestic violence I went through. (Sorry, don't know if that's relevant in your situation).

I had PTSD that nearly killed me, we lived in a refuge for a year, I was mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually abused for 9 years. I'm not well enough to think about volunteering. I can't manage to leave my house most days. If I get to the tesco next door to buy bread without having a pathetic panic attack that's a major victory. I was under the CMHT for a bit, but they kept changing appointments and because I wasn't getting the letter before the appointment they discharged me after 3. I live at say "3 smith house" and there's a "3 smith house way" next door and they don't bother giving me post that goes to them.

I'm sorry that must seem like a pathetic list of excuses.

Time to stop shouting at yourself. No one thinks you're pathetic. And when you are unwell enough to need a CMHT then trying to solve the muddle of appointment letters going astray is just too much. A bit disappointed in your CMHT though! Why could they not have made a home visit to find out what was going on?

I'v had/am coming out of PTSD (for a combination of child abuse and birth trauma) so I know how overwhelming it is. I did have a stable home, family and strong circle of friends though, so no idea how you cope starting from scratch after the refuge.

Can I implore you not to give up your room? It is perfectly fine for 2 girls your daughters' ages to share a room and you need somewhere that is your own.

Are you on medication? You sound like that may not be a bad idea. And you need to get back to the GP for more help and possibly a referral back to CMHT, as much as you don't feel like doing it for yourself. Just think you are doing it for the girls who need you well. If not, Women's Aid can help, they have good counsellors.

I'm not on any medication. I'm going to go and see my doctor tomorrow.

My eldest is a boy, I have a 13 yo DS and an 11 yo DD sharing a room. I've made a curtain to separate and give them some privacy but it's not enough. I am going to have to give my son my room. It's just not fair on them.

duh sorry that will teach me to read better - I somehow thought they were all girls.

If you are in LA/HA housing you should be eligible to move to a 3 bed, assuming there are any available that is.

There's a bidding system in the area, 3 bedroom places are very rare and the housing list is massive. I've got no chance.

Who told you that you have no chance? Your property is or will soon be classed as statutorily overcrowded which means they have to give you a high priority for rehoming.