I'm not really sure where to post this (relationships? Lone parent?) and I'll try and keep it as brief as possible but I'm pretty sure it's mainly to do with mental health, mine and someone else's...
I'm a single mother of two boys and split from my husband a year and a half ago which was the best decision I could ever make. Life was pretty darned awesome actually.
Then I met this guy 'S' last January. Since I met S my life and my mental health has been turned upside-down.
He has spent the last year coming in and out of my life and I fell for him massively. He spends a couple of weeks paying me loads of attention via Facebook, then I get start getting texts saying "Do you think we have something? I'd like to make a go of things again, I miss you, I've had time to reflect, I know what I want now" blah blah blah... I eventually cave in then the next day I get a text saying "Sorry, I'm an idiot, shouldn't have text you, let's stay friends".
This has happened time and time and time again. Granted it's my own fault for not telling him to piss off but, like I said, I feel for him massively. Like I was put under some kind of spell that just couldn't get enough of him
I always say, "you'll change your mind tomorrow" and try and stop him from pushing me into caving. Yet he gets me every single time.
Anyway. The last time this happened was at his birthday just after New Year. We were actually getting on really well as mates at this point and I finally felt like my life was moving on. I was really happy. He moved from London to Bristol a couple of months ago and wanted me to come up for his birthday, so I did. We actually had a fantastic night. He did his usual "We have something special, time to reflect, there must be a reason I keep coming back to you" blah blah blah. I was doing so well, not letting him kiss me and brushing him off when he wanted to hold me. But by the next morning he was still trying to convince me and I eventually caved.
Then lo and behold, by that following evening when I arrived back in London, he said the distance was too much of a problem and it wouldn't work.
I wanted to talk about what happened and try and get our friendship back on track but he kept making excuses not to talk. Then just a week later he met someone else, told me he was happy and wanted to move on and to stop texting him to talk.
Well. That did it. I was furious. Sent him a text saying to remember it was him pushing me all the time and that I've realised he's not a very nice person actually, that I won't be contacting him again and if he changes his mind again, not to contact me.
I then deleted him off FB and Twitter. Big step for me! But I've been desperately miserable.
I've since spoken to his female best friend who has completely stuck up for me and has been a rock actually. She says he's done this before.
Then I got a message from her friend who was also screwed around by him who told me how he treated her. He did exactly the same to her. To the word!
(I forgot to mention that when we first met we dated for a few weeks, then he completely cut me out of his life. When this happened I was diagnosed with severe depression and was given a course of CBT once a week over the phone, which was a bit crap actually. Then I stupidly let him back into my life)
I feel like such a fool. He's pulled the wool over my eyes for a whole year.
I'm struggling immensely with this. I just feel like I'm trapped in a very dark and deep hole and can't seem to get motivated to do anything at all.
I feel like a shit mum as I can't even pay attention to my children and just want to be left alone and not bothered by them. I want to run away from everything quite frankly. I keep getting really anxious and have no patience whatsoever.
I also feel like some silly lovesick teenager. I'm a 32 year old woman ffs! I should be able to deal with this.
I think what I want to get from this thread is what the hell is up with S? Why does he do this time and time again to every woman he meets? Why does he want to cause so much hurt? And why I can't deal with it and just get on with my life and forget him?
Sorry, that wasn't brief at all!