sorry if this is the wrong place for this but just want to put down, somewhere, that I am having a bad day. No-one in RL I can talk to as I know how the conversation will go.
bad day doesn't really cover it, more like bad week/month/year (I know only Jan but still)
nothing seems to be going well. obviously v poor at the mo, like everyone and it just seems to make everything harder. Work is not going great, short term contract, failing to meet targets and the major pay cut is really affecting us at home and finding it really difficult to work in the team.
DH tries but doesn't get it, always trying to 'make me better', looking for a quick fix. He doesn't always make allowances (and I quite agree that he shouldn't) but I am getting to the point where I am in tears everyday before work because of something he has said or done, and then have to go in and try to leave my homelife shit at the office door. The anti-depressants don't seem to be having much affect anymore and i cry over everything and nothing. even typong this has me close to tears.
I have put on a fair amount of weight over the christmas period so I am now even fatter than I was, which upsets me.
Can't and don't talk to my family so there is no one there that can help and I don't want to talk to my friends about it as it means explaining things that I really don't want to cover again.
I am just having a really bad time and I don't see how it will get better. I keep trying different projects and things to keep me occupied and focus on but I am not good enough at them and don't have the patience to keep at them to get better.
The only bright point in my life is moo, but she is too little to understand and I dont want to put this on her, after all why should I destroy her childhood with my crap.
Don't really expect any responses to this post. I just wanted to put these feeling somewhere other than in my head.