Not sure if i need help really

[Elefriend]

I cant believe im writing this on a forum but i dont know what else to do

Im feeling quite low, sometimes im ok, other times im like i am now

Im a stay at home mum which i know is an important job but i feel like i do nothing with my life whereas my close friend who has 3 kids same as me has just accepted a new job that she was told about, its not in her normal field but she got accepted over about 40 people, shes a lovely person, i feel like that sort of thing wouldnt happen to me, i think my confidence is so low and self esteem, i used to work full time with my first 2 children but my area manager was always putting me diwn and i think its still affecting me now, i dont feel like i can strike up a conversation with just anyone and cant make friends easily. I always see people chatting in groups etc and i feel like im not like that, i must be a horrible person, i always think people think the worst of me.

Im not sure what i can do about this, i cant go out and meet people at toddler groups, its just not me

I dont want to be classed as having depression and having medication, i just dont know what the problem is or what to do

Im wondering if my up bringing and difficult friendships ive had in the past are still in my mind and affecting me?? Anyone have any suggestions

I'm not convinced you are depressed - it does however sound like your self esteem is very low.

You could try starting with a book like 'Overcoming low self esteem' which is on the NHS Bibliotherapy program. All larger libraries should have it.

By the way there is no such thing as being 'classed' as having depression. It's an ordinary illness that many people have, and if you have it you need treatment for it. Just like you would for diabetes. There's no shame involved, it doesn't make you an incapable person.

Thank you for your reply, i appreciate that, i had a chat with my closest friend and then with my husband last night and its made me feel abit better

I may well look that book up though, thank you

I agree with madmouse that it sounds like low self esteem is an issue. You're not alone on that one! I find it helps to be open with friends, cos when you start talking about that whole school gate /toddler group thing it's amazing how many other people feel the same. I totally get where you're coming from!
I've been going to a counsellor for the last two years which helps me put things in perspective and realise when I'm being a bit paranoid! Usually when I'm tired and trying to do too many things and not looking after myself... It's only recently that I've told my close friends about my therapy sessions and everyone's been surprised... You never know what's going on in other people's heads.
Anyway, remember, you're not alone. You are doing an important job and while probably no one ever tells you this, you will be appreciated. Make time to look after yourself. Take care