AIBU to be a bit upset with the mental health team?

[chickenchops]

Not brave enough for the real AIBU!

I have been struggling for a fair few months now and regularly see both a psychiatrist and a mental health nurse who comes to the house.

Yesterday the nurse popped round and when I opened the door she had someone with her... She introduced her as xx a student who was following her and could she join us. I felt a bit awkward turning her away from my door step but felt a bit uneasy about seeing someone new. My nurse had obviously discussed my history with her etc. I just really wished someone had called first to ask if it all was ok. I mean I know students have to learn from somewhere but we live in a small town and I worry about confidentiality etc.
I have a doctors appt in two weeks time and the nurse usually attends. I'm now worried that the student will tag along then too. I find my appointments overwhelming enough as it is without another person I don't know being there.

So, AIBU?

no yanbu, it's a bit much to expect someone vulnerable to be able to make that decision on the spot on the doorstop. and talking about the case before seeking permission must be wrong too i would have thought?

i would maybe speak to the GP and explain what happened and how you feel about it and your concerns about the upcoming appointment and then take it from there

YANBU She should have called you first and asked you if you would mind. Why don't you call her before dr appt and let the nurse know your uncomfortable with students being present.

YANBU She should have called you first and asked you if you would mind. Why don't you call her before dr appt and let the nurse know your uncomfortable with students being present.

Its not against confidentailtiy i dont think to discuss someones case with another medical professional, not sure if that would include or exclude students however. YANBU. I wouldnt have wanted a student there. I had a student midwife at my birth, but the midwife asked me before going to get her and to be honest by the time i was 9cm i didnt really care who was there. But that was very insensitive of your mental health nurse.

The nurse should have phoned you beforehand to see if you minded having a student, and you are within your rights to say no. I would phone and let her know you'd rather the student didn't come to your appointment.

Having both students and being a student in the past I can assure you confidentiality is paramount, but I am very sorry you haven't been consulted about having a student present. It should hav been common courtesy at least never mind how it would affect the contact. I really would encourage you to bring it up with the nurse in question. If no one ever raises these issues (complains) then no one realises things aren't right. Please tell, then it might be better for the next person

Thank you for replying- I'm glad to know I'm not being unreasonable!

I really have loved the support this nurse has given me and think she's fantastic so I don't really want to ring up and get her in trouble if you see what I mean. So I think I might just mentally prepare for being asked at my appt if student can join and just say no.

Thanks again

She should have asked you beforehand, but you shouldnt feel awkward about saying no if you dont want a student there, that is your right.

If you phone the nurse to let them know that you werent happy then you could also say that you dont want the student there next time you are seen.

You need to tell them you're not happy about it otherwise how will they know for next time (either with you or someone else). They really should have pre-warned you and given you the opportunity to say you didn't want the student there. Not on, at all.

My hv asked me over the phone if she cd bring a student- we were going to be discussing my mental health- and I felt too awkward and unassertive to say no. Then I thought better of it as i knew it wd make me uncomfortable so i called and left a message asking her not to bring the student. She didnt get the message until after the appointment and was mortified and called me to apolgise. They do not take it personally and understand why you might ot want an unknown third party at your appointment which is why they usually ask first. Call and tell them you'd prefer the student wasn't there- no one will get into trouble!

My HV turned up at my door with a student when DD was 2.5 weeks. I couldn't exactly SAY anything but a call to give prior warning etc would have been nice. She's also repeatedly late for appointments. Is this was someone I worked with I would complain and if it was me I would be complained about. Imagine turning up 45 mins late for a meeting!??

YANBU

You can say something. The student can go and sit in the HV car or something, you do not have to have them there if you dont want.

that's easy to say though catsareevil but when you have mental health issues you often are not in any position to stand up for yourself and say no.
I don't know wht the OP's specific problems are, but when I was in the midst of depression there is no way I would have been able to turn someone down on my doorstep when they were waiting to come in, esp when with an "authority" figure.

I guess not, but from the students point of view they will be used to people saying no, and wont be remotely surprised or offended.