I've been on citalopram for about 2 years now. I was originally put on it for anxiety and I have to say it's been a lifesaver. I've muddled through and on the whole been ok, give or take a few blue days.
I think I may have crossed over from anxiety into depression now though. I feel in quite a dark place, and I just cannot seem to climb out. I am normally a very upbeat person but for the last few weeks I have been so low that sometimes it feels like too big an effort even to breathe. I have a lot going on in my life stress wise, I'm a single mum and pretty isolated in terms of RL friends and I feel that something inside me has broken, like it's finally been one thing too much.
On the surface I am ok, albeit less smiley and chirpy than I usually am, but honestly...all I want to do is bury myself under my duvet and not come back out, just shut life out. I am close to tears all the time but for some reason I cannot actually shed any tears.
I went to the GP today and told him I didn't know where to start when he asked what he could do for me...that I was feeling very low indeed, not sleeping etc...first thing he said to me was 'I see you've abandoned your slimming campaign then?'. I was mortified!!! I ended up coming away with sleeping tablets and loads of unspoken worries. Now I feel even bloody worse about myself than I did before I went in.
How the hell do I pull myself out of this?