living with this

[lemama]

I'm a child abuse survivor.

Since I "remembered" what happened I have struggled but have made ground in facing up to it.

I'm sometimes lost sometimes hopeless, often angry, sad and scared all at once.

I have ptsd, lots of triggers, lots of dissociation. Currently recieving a limited course of nhs councelling but spend most of my time researching about it on line and trying to find what does/doesn't help.

I'm currently trying to get the courage to go to the rape crisis centre.

I spent two years heavily doped on anti depressants but felt they weren't working, imo of the fact I'm not really depressed if that makes sense. I'm devastated, angry and sad and lost and scared.

Now I'm on anxiety meds and just taking each day at a time, if I don't feel like doing anything I don't, if I do I do. Fortunately my DC is teenage so doesn't need me so much but I do feel guilty for the years I was doped up.

Anyway, I have been lurking for a while and thought I should say hello

I'm under the rape crisis centre they are fantastic I disclosed to the police 4 months ago. It is hard but I think it will be worth it in the end it was the police DC that referred me to them.

Hello from a fellow survivor who spends most of her time on the other side now, the life is good it's all in the past side. Recently been tough again as I'm rooting through more stuff in therapy, but it will make me stronger again.

dottyspotty2 disclosing is the best thing to do even though it is hard, mine isn't a case as (it) is deceased.

madmouse life is definately better on the other side, even though it felt like it would never be good again. It's good to work through stuff, it does give a lot of strength.

You both have a lot of strength. Thanks for everybody posting about this, and for answering, feel like a weight has lifted.

I still have a long way to go, social skills are incredibly lacking atm.

Mine is no case either because in the country where it happened if you can shut your victims up for 25 years you get off scot free. And I trained there as a fucking criminal lawyer. I mean what medieval system is that??

Lemana we [my sisters and I] refer to so called brother as it, go back for more counselling tomorrow as well.