Mild pychosis but no mood disturbance, confused.

[Crawling]

I have bipolar but I am not currently treated as I am breastfeeding for as long as I can.

I have been nervous to go out, and to give a few examples of how I have been feeling I had a funny turn the other day as a new neighbour moved in and I felt convinced he was a peadophille who choose that house to get my children. A family member recently had some bad news and two voices were arguing saying it was my fault that God had done it because she minorly upset me the other week. I argued no thats not true and then I felt angry at me because this is about her not me and I dont want to pull any support from her by being ill. I had a few invites declined and got very angry and paranoid as to why. I have also been seeing things but in all cases I am able to see that it is not real and that is why I say mild, I have had a lack of energy and a blunted feeling like everything is on mute and I am outside but I am neither sad nor manic. I am coping fairly well for the most part ignoring any pychosis and managing with my daily tasks but I am confused why am I not depressed or manic?

HI Crawling how are you feeling now? I have just seen your post and I felt I should reply, I have bipolar as well and i think its rather more complex then we like to think, ie it can be a lot more complicated than either depressed or manic.

It sounds like you have had a lot of stress to deal with on top of being unable to medicate. It sounds like you have good insight into your mood/state which is good in the sense that you can 'see things for what they are' ie dark thoughts/talk rather than actual real voices, even if you are not always able to fight them.

If I were you I would go back to your doctor and tell them what you have written here.

Also, before I was medicated I used to see things as well,dead animals that were not actually there. I had no idea that things like that were because of the bipolar, i thought it was just me

Wishing you all the best and feel free to pm me if you like

Thank you it has calmed down now.

I have had alot of stress and so I have shut down a bit and my partner is taking over, I am not due to see my pychiatrist for a month, I could call one of my CPNs to come and talk to me about this. Also thinking on it it started just after I told a family member (I havent told anyone who didnt see me on my last episode which was just a friend my partner and my mum) The family member was supportive and said he had noticed extreme mood swings when I was a teenager but put it down to a difficult childhood and moved away after this so stopped noticing. He also understood why I have hidden this as I have a scizophrenic uncle and some family members dont treat him to well, nothing bad he just is not talked about and not often invited to family occassions and some members are a bit disbelieving of genetic mental illnesses . But it kind of felt like I opened the flood gates and I have been worried that his perception of me will change so it could be connected to that.

Thank you for replying I think you are right and the illness is more complicated than we think and while I am obviously not happy you experience the same it does help to know it is not just me.

Hi I think its good that you are able to start opening up about the bipolar to the people around you, it is only through being open about it that the stigma of mental illness can be reduced, although I think we both know that perceptions and misconceptions will always be around. I have certainly found out who my real friends are since getting ill!

CPN idea sounds like a winner-they will be able to get you in to see the psych quicker if they feel its needed. It sounds like you have a lovely partner who is supportive-it makes such a difference doesn't it, i look back on life before DP and wonder how did I ever cope!

do you know if there is a bipolar support group in your area? I am going to my first meeting tomorrow to see what help is available, you can look it up here www.mdf.org.uk/?o=56851, they also have a forum for bipolar parents which is good.

Hi Crawling - have a chat with you GP, midwife or cpn and tell them what is going on. Mental health often wobbles post natal - especially with conditions like bipolar so letting the professionals know as early as you can is the best step and gets the proper support in place. Psychosis is crap - my daughter deals with it and just flags up any probs with it as soon as they occur and finds that makes it easier to deal with.

Take care - JJ

to both of you I gave my CPN a call yesturday and she got back to me earlier they are happy for me to remain off meds ATM but will increase thier visits and reassess if the symptoms start up again .

trotters it does make a difference my first partner became abusive when he saw the symptoms and my family have kind of brushed it under the carpet but my current DP was the one who persuaded me to get help and he has walked through everything with me without judgement he is great It is good to hear that you have a good partner to as your hear more stories about the opposite. I hope that meeting goes well for you I will start one in the future but ATM I have alot on my plate (newborn, and a 2 YO with speech difficulty not to mention lots of doctor appointment pychiatrist, therapy and CPN)so I am going to wait till I have a bit more time and feel like I can give some of myself into it IYKWIM. I really hope your first meeting goes well and I will look at that forum thank you.

JJ Thank you it makes me feel better everytime I hear of people who are not afraid to talk about MI particularly pychosis. I really hope your DD is doing well and has good supportive HCP (I can tell her mum is obviously) and friends and that her treatment is working well.