I don't want to participate with this shit world anymore...

[makinglemonade]

I'm feeling very low. Im in a very stressful job and it's been getting to me for a while. At work I end up teary and am really short with my colleagues.

I'm not motivated in work or home. My DH is so good and understanding.
I've been trying to get on with things and do the bare min to get by but at the weekend I had a small argument with SIL which triggered something in me and I've been so low ever since.
Ive taken this wk off work but all Ive done is lie in bed and cry since Sunday. I only get up to make DH dinner but I really don't even want to do that.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just get on with it.

Have you been to see your GP? How long have you been feeling this way? Do you want to talk about the argument with your SIL? Do talk here as much as you want... Or phone the Samaritans.

I suggest that you have a chat with your GP. You sound over-stretched and over-tired and "just getting on with it" will only make things worse. Just talking about how you feel and what is distressing you can sometimes help find a way out of such wretched feelings. Sometimes anti-depressants can also help just while you're growing stronger and starting to sort out what is making you feel so rotten. Good luck.

please go and see your GP. If you'd broken your leg, you wouldn't be scolding yourself for "not getting on with it". Give yourself a chance and get some help, that's the strong thing to do.

Good luck and a big hug xx

Thank you for replying.

I feel like I'm being dramatic but I'm just so fed up with everything. I feel that I have no right to feel like this. I've a lovely home, loving DH, good family and friends and a successful job.

I just feel so anxious and don't want to leave my house. Just want to stay here and ignore the world. I don't want DH to come home from work as I don't want to have to interact with him and talk and try to explain

I wouldn't harm myself although sometimes when I'm driving I wish someone would drive into me ( not to seriously harm me but to put me out of action for a while)

Thanks for reading

have you a relative or friend you could ask just to go to the surgery with you (not into the GP's consultation itself, just to give you a bit of company on the way, help you get out the house and get there without changing your mind)?

You're not 'being dramatic', you posted because it's how you feel. I'll bet you hesitated before posting, it takes a lot of guts to admit there is a problem. But it's not normal to want to hide away from the world, and your own husband. You do need to get yourself some help. Keep talking here and when you feel ready you can see your GP. Does your DH have any idea about how you're feeling? You could consider showing him the thread, but only if it feels right for you.

I don't know exactly how you're feeling but I've made one or two similar posts of my own. Sometimes it seems like everything is just too much to deal with. It does get better though.

If you do go to the GP, take a print out of your OP. Sometimes it's hard to find the words.

Can you hand your notice in, go freelance, self employed or do something different. Give yourself some time.

I will go to the GP, soon.

DH knows that I'm low and that work is a major factor. He wants me to step down from the role I'm in as I've struggled with it from when I took it on 2 years ago. I'd find it difficult to work within the same company in a lesser position. It's not something I can do freelance.
I'm the bigger wage and we couldn't survive without my wage. In fact this wk with me not getting sick pay will impact on us at the end of the month.

I have one friend/colleague who knows to an extent what's going on but I don't want to burden her. So many people around me have real sorrow and sadness in their lives and I've no reason to feel like this.

You have a stressful job which you don't enjoy- that's enough to make anyone feel down. But even if it weren't, you don't need a reason. If you are depressed (and it sounds like you might be) then it's an illness. You can still get ill no matter how wonderful your life appears.

Thanks everyone. You have help me start to put things into perspective.

I'm going to try to talk to DH properly tonight and go from there.