Really struggling

[Mishy1234]

I'm really struggling atm. I returned from mat leave last sept after having DS2 and I'm tearful and anxious most of the time. I'm just exhausted too, going to bed at 7. I work part-time and on my non-working days things do improve a bit as the pressure lifts, but as soon as I'm back working it's as bad again. It's getting to the point I don't even have to be under any particular pressure, it's just the thought of it making me anxious.

Is this just a settling back into things period (I wasn't like this after DS1) or do I really have a problem here? I feel on the edge most of the time and getting really terrified that as soon as the chips are down so to speak, I will collapse in a big heap and not be able to function at all.

DS1 is nearly 4 and DS2 in 19 months. I work 3 days in a fairly stressful environment. There are lots of changes in the company as it was taken over last year.

What do I do? Do I go to the GP and if I do what can they do about it anyway? I'm still bf DS2, so not sure if I could take anything anyway.

Sorry you're feeling so low. You should definitely go and speak to your GP about it. Let him or her decide what is wrong and what any treatment should be. You can take certain anti-depressant meds while BFing and if you're not comfortable doing it perhaps your doc can refer you for some other treatment. But please don't keep suffering in silence - this isn't normal.

Thanks juneau

DH seems to think it's all just a symptom of having young children and it will get better once they are older. I'm sure that it's a factor, but the way I feel right now there's no way I can survive like this for another 3 or so years! He just seems to think I'm being silly, which really makes me doubt myself.

I will make an appointment to see my GP. My fear is that once something like this is on your notes you card is marked so to speak. I know it shouldn't be like that, but I think MH issues still have a real stigma.

I think your gp is a great place to start.

You need to put your unfounded worries about stigmas etc to one side and seek professional help, just as you would if you needed a plumber for a leak or a mechanic for your car.

I bet my bottom dollar that your gp has literally dozens of patients who have experienced episodes of anxiety-related problems and will be able to help you. Try talking about your fear of your card being marked, they will be aware of this sort of worry, too.

That's reassuring, thanks imaginethat.

I could have written your post mishy. I'm really really struggling at the moment and like you think I'm going to have to make that appointment. Have tried speaking to DH about how hard everything is. He says when the dc's are older things will get better, but so far they haven't! I've started to feel anxious over things that would have never bothered me before. Today walking dd to school I could feel my anxiety mounting because I was trying to deal with the baby who was screaming and dd who was asking a hundred questions at once. Pathetic really.

Let me know how you get on at the gp

I'm sorry you're feeling similar mrspepperpot. I never thought I'd ever feel like this and keep waiting for things to get better or tell myself that I will cope better once this or that happens, but I never do.

I'll certainly post back about my appointment. It will have to wait until next week though, as not something I could take the DC's along for. Hopefully I'll be able to get a sentence out without bursting into tears.

me too

How can your DH think that being tearful and anxious most of the time is just part of having young kids? I think we all feel like this occasionally, but living in this state all the time must be exhausting and utterly miserable. I'm guessing you're good at covering up how you're really feeling, but be honest with the doctor and hopefully he/she will listen and act accordingly. Hope you get the help you need.

I think it's something like 1 in 4 people have a MH issue, definitely not marking your card in any way.

I hope you have a nice, open chat - sometimes people find it helps to make a list/write down the difficult bits to hand over.

My DH hates the thought of me taking any form of anti-depressant or anxiety medication. When I've brought up how utterly bloody miserable I am he trots out the 'when x happens you'll be happier' or 'it's only a phase, it'll pass' which doesn't help at all. I really need to make that appointment!!