Has anyone else just decided to pack it all in?

[mosp]

Forget the therapy. I've been waiting 18 months now. I don't know if I want it anymore. Everytime I have to see psychiatrist or Mental Health Nurse, I just hate it. I'd rather just plod on and try to imagine I'm real. I think I can function to a point. But only if I don't think.

Psychiatrist said today it was up to me. I don't want it to be up to me. I can't be trusted to make decisions. I don't know anything about myself.

I think they might have meant they can't force you to do anything.... But they can advise you on what they believe to be the best course of action. So if you feel you don't know what's best for yourself go with what they suggest.... Also tell them what you just told us, important f or them to know you feel lost in the process.

mosp - I think some psychiatrists are no help at all. They diagnose and treat and that is all. Do you mind my asking if your difficulties are around past trauma. I wondered as you said you were ok so long as you didn't think.

What was the context in which the psych said it was "up to you"

Can you think what decision you'd make if you were talking about e.g. a good friend?

She is said to be an excellent psychiatrist. I just think it's me that's wrong.

The context is that I am now on 150 mg sertraline, which is doing a much better job than the citalopram was. I'm managing to (sort of) live. I told her that every time I have an appointment, I get panicky because it only reminds me that I'm all wrong. That if I don't think, I 'function'.

They have applied for specialist trauma therapy, so she just said that I can re-think when the funding is accepted (if it is). She also said it is my decision.

I can't make choices. I don't have the ability to see things in the light that a real person would.