scared

[pods]

Hi there
I've recently been put on 50mg of sertraline for depression, have been on it 4.3 weeks. Last Friday gp suggested putting it up to 100mg as I don't feel any better, though dh says he's noticed a difference (he thinks I coped better with Christmas than I usually do/than he thought I would, however I did sh Christmas day which he doesn't know about).

I was off work in the week lead up to Christmas and wanted to go back tomorrow, but the idea is terrifying me. I manage a team of people and the thought of being "on it", firing all cylinders, well I just don't feel I can do it. But I also feel like if I stay off people will talk. I also feel I should be feeling better by now. But if anything I feel worse! Almost constant thoughts of sh now, and have been pacing the floor today don't know what to do with myself. And I have been vile to dd I feel awful. I've had a few drinks over the festive period and realise I may nit have given the ADs a chance to work, so will be off the booze from now.

Also I think I had a sort of seizure in bed last night.

I know I need to go back to my gp, at least to mention the seizure. I just don't know how much of this is the meds or how I'm feeling anyway and I am reluctant to put the dose up and get caught in a meds trap. And I don't want to feel any worse!

I had an assessment the other day and have been offered either cbt or counselling. She said I could have both but not at the same time.

Don't really know why I'm posting so sorry for long post. Just felt like I was losing it a bit worrying about work and this spiral I seem to have found myself in.

Well yes more than anything you need to go to your doctor to explain exactly what this seizure looked or felt like to see if you need to worry.

Secondly, generally 50mg Sertraline is a starting dose and it is common/normal to go up to 100mg for it to actually do its job, so going up to 100 is nothing to do with getting caught into any sort of trap.

its ok to post as long as you like here honey.off loading all helps.if youvehad a seizure you neeed to speak to your gp asap.it can be scary having the dose meds upped but its a means to an end,not ev 1 stays at that level indefinately,and if you did have to does it really matter in the scheme of things if it allows you to function?four weeks isnt that long to be expecting improvements.i didnt notice til 6wks in but dp did,nothing major just litle things.only you can decide if you are well enough to return to the workplace,so cant really help with that one.as for the cbt or counselling it depends what you want to achieve-is it finding what the past has to do with your issues or producing positive responses to them.i dont feel ive helped very much,sorry.i can listen though and if you need a hug send one of those!i hope you feel a bit better tomorrow.keep posting if you want to chat

Thanks for the replies. I asked dh if he remembers me juddering last night when I had what felt like a seizure. He said he can't and that I'm often jumpy in the night anyway, so I'm not sure. But yes, I will go to the gp tomorrow.

I've also decided not to go back to work yet. I want to be well when I do and I don't feel well. I just hope it happens soon.

madmouse thanks for the reassurance re sertraline doses, that fits with what the Dr said.
And liveinazoo thanks for sharing your experience re sertraline. I've worried that I should be feeling better by now but I do want to at least give it another week without booze just to see if that helps.

There is various stuff in my past but I've had bits of counselling before and it's never really helped. What I want is to not feel like this. Probably time to try something different.