Is there something wrong with me?

[clare458]

I'm starting to think I have something wrong with me and am in danger of driving everyone away.
I am becoming increasingly bad tempered and blowing things out of proportion, with my dc and dh mainly.
I have stopped enjoying having friends round this is partly because I have nothing really interesting to say. I read to much into things which doesn't help and this makes me anxious and paranoid.
I had a baby 7 months ago but these issues were definitely there long before I had children but are perhaps coming to light now. I just don't always feel I'm a nice person to be around. I discussed my feelings with my gp when I had my six week check up after dd was born, he didn't seem to think I fitted into the depression criteria.
I just want to have fun with my dc and for them to look back on their childhood and remember their mum as a happy person who enjoyed raising her children.

have you told your hv how you feel?would you feel comfortable going back to your gp?

I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing my own gp as he kind of shrugged it off, but I could see another doctor. When I take dd to be weighed it's a different HIV each time so wouldn't be my first choice. I wish a professional could see me when I'm on a downer! It would be so much easier to get my feelings across rather then making an appt and trying to explain when my moods are ok.
I think a lot of my trouble is I hide things and only seem to express anger to others rather then admitting I'm upset about something. I would find it really difficult to cry in front of someone including dh.

.how would you feel about writting down how you feel?then you could show a different gp.sorry to hear youve had no luck with your gp!
i think sadness often does come out as anger when you hold it in.
does your dh or any other family member have any clue on how you feel?

sorry im not helping much!

i'm feeling very much the same way. my baby is a bit older and i have a toddler as well. it's been tough for a couple of years when i really think about it but i've had enough ups to pass it off as bad patches. i've been to the gp a couple of times recently when i was going through a bad patch but i can't go on any meds because i'm bf so feel a bit stuck.

i think i am depressed, despite convincing myself i wasn't. i'm also dealing with anxiety, which i also didn't believe i could be. because i'm not dealing with anything properly it's coming out as anger and resentment. i'm looking into some self help stuff online and maybe some counselling/therapy. i'm also trying to plan more stuff for myself - excercise and getting a massage/hair cut or similar to give me something to look forward to regularly. i'm not eating very well and baby isn't sleeping very well so i know that's not helping either.