Please give me a virtual 'happiness' slap!

[lettingitallgonow]

This is more like a rant than anything else, but if anyone has any suggestions then please feel free to give opinions (I'm sure you will anyway).

I just don't feel happy anymore.

Before the birth of my DD and my relationship with my DH I was a happy go lucky person, I was really happy with my life, it had it's ups and downs but on the whole if someone asked me what my aims were for the following year and if I'd had a good year the responses would always have been very positive.

I got pregnant with DD within 4 months of meeting my, now DH, had her, got married a few years later and she's now 4. I have a good and lovely relationship with DH, we love and respect each other but I just simply don't see the joy in life any longer. That sounds quite dramatic but it's not meant to. My DD is gorgeous and I love spending time with her and my DH, but I feel there is something lacking in my life and I dont' know what it is. We've been TTC#2 now for over a year without success so maybe that have something to do with it.

I feel as though I've lost 'me' though. The looking forward to life has gone from me, a close friend said to me some time back that 'I'd lost my smile' I seem just to function.

Someone asked me the other day what my aim was for 2012 and my answer was simply, 'to cheer the fuck up'

I've been suffering with Anxiety and panic attacks for the last 18 months and some mild depression but thought I was getting through it, but I still have that underlying 'dread' and envy of other people around me who seem to be so much happier than I am..

Should I just 'cheer the fuck up' and shut up? Or should I be looking to the docs again.

lettingitallgonow...sorry to read how you are feeling. Life can become mundane with children/family. Routines etc. But if this feels to you more than that...then please seek advice from your doctor. I have felt this way too...sometimes still have that 'niggling' in the back of my mind. I put mine down to anxiety & juggling my family,house, work etc. Do you have any RL support?

I do have some really good friends and a good relationship with my family except they are all at least 2 hrs drive away. I moved up north to be with my DH (a joint decision) but have no real friends that I can simply pop over for a cuppa and a chat with.

Actually writing it all down has given me a bit of insight as to why I might be feeling like this and a few things I could maybe do about it. I think maybe my lack of RL friends maybe a factor, and I should make a bit more effort with my friends to go and visit.

It's great that seeing it all written down has helped you. It often makes things easier to deal with. MN is a great please for support so keep posting & look at the meet up forum as there may be people in your area you could meet up with. It's hard when the support system is far away...but regular calls & emails can help. I found this when my DSis lived 4 hours away. Just having that familiar comfort really helps.