Sometimes I feel like I'm losing the plot...

[snorkmaidenmummy]

Hi,

I'm new to Mumsnet and new to motherhood generally - I have a beautiful 3 month old daughter who I adore. I wonder if I could just off load abit, if you'd be willing to listen.

I don't know if anyone else has any experience of this but every now and then (particularly if I'm very tired or have'nt eaten well) I get so pent up with feelings of agitation and irritation etc that I lock myself in a room in the house (like the bathroom) and just scream and shout and make as much noise as I can. I just get this overwhelming urge to let off steam (I have a "few things" going on in my life that is causing me stress such as worries about money, needing to move house in the new year, difficult relationship with DD's father etc). It kind of helps but I just feel quite nutty doing it and feel embarrrassed, ashamed also. I also worry that my neighbours might hear and think I'm shouting at my baby (which I have never done - I always take myself away from her). Am I abit crazy or is this something other people do also? I don't feel its something I would feel comfortable talking to a HV or GP about. Somedays I am fine but somedays I feel so grrrrr!!!

may be post natal depression.babies do wear any one out they are well worth it.xyou are not losing the plot. keep strong xxxx

I try to stay strong, but sometimes things just get on top of me and I feel I have a limited number of people that I can talk openly with. I feel abit paranoid telling anyone how I really feel - I'm concerned of talking to my HV or GP regarding possible PND as I don't want them to think I'm an unfit mother. I think all they would be able to do is offer me anti depressants and I'm not convinced they would work as I think my problems stem from issues that I have to sort out and deal with in my life. I generally feel very alone at the moment.

hi. I don't think you sound nuts, I think you're doing your best under difficult circumstances. You obviously need an 'out' for your stresses and even under pressure you're considering your DD's needs by not doing this around her.
I don't know if you've got PND but I would suggest talking to your GP. You don't have to accept AD's (if they're offered) but it may do you good to talk and off load.
I don't know if it's possible for you, but do you have the chance to do something for you. Even if it's just for an hour? I go to yoga once a week and it's nice to have something to look forward to just for me.