OMG I am getting SO fed up.
(More of an admin rant, but people in here are more likely to get what I am talking about)
Right, so for ages, I have been told I will eventually be transferred from team A to team B. Fine. Nothing was finalised and I was told I would be fully informed, there would be a lot of work with team A to get me ready for (less intensive and specialised) team B. I was nervous, but generally OK with that.
Then, about six weeks ago, out of nowhere, I got a letter saying I have an appointment with Dr J (a new psych doctor I have never met) at my local surgery. I rang my team A, who knew nothing about it and said they would get back to me. They didn't.
Then, a couple of days later, a nurse who I have never met turned up at my door, with no appointment. I was in bed ill with a virus, but got up to speak to her. I can't really remember what was said (I was shaking and full of fever - would have cancelled an appointment if there was one) but she didn't know anything at all about my history or situation - not even that I had been in hospital recently.
So, the next day, when I was feeling a bit better, I rang my normal nurse at team A, and asked what was going on. She didn't know - she said she had had a meeting and talked about me to another nurse, but the plan was that they would do joint visits with plenty of warning (they know full well that these things make me anxious, and the thought of being left out of the loop REALLY makes me annoyed and anxious) so she would try to get in touch with the new nurse.
My normal nurse A came out to see me the next week (although she said she shouldn't) for a normal appointment (basically her and DH ridiculing me wanting to get a job and saying I should be happy just pottering about at home, and they would love to be able to be as lazy as me), and at the end she said she was still chasing up nurse B, who was on holiday, but that there would definitely be a full explanation and joint visits etc before I met the new doctor. Nurse A is usually really nice, but recently she has been distinctly cold, I'm pretty sure she is backing off so I can go to the new team.
In the meantime I have rung team A (I don't have a number for team B) several times, they have always said they will ring back or pass a message to the nurse A (who incidentally usually sees me once a week, but I have seen her once in the last eight weeks). They never get back to me.
I have lost the doctors letter, and hadn't put it in my diary as I was under the impression that it was going to be discussed with me first and was perhaps a mistake anyway (team A doctors come out to my house, so I have never seen this setup before, although obviously I know it exists on less intensive teams) I did have a vague memory it was at the beginning of December though.
So, after another full day of waiting for a call back, I rang team A and insisted the person look on my records and tell me if it said anything about this appointment. It didn't, but she found the name of nurse B and her phone number.
So I rang nurse B. She wasn't there, but there was someone on the same team, who did have a record of the doctors appointment (next wednesday). She couldn't however tell me exactly what the appointment is for, whether I should take my husband, etc. She said she will ask nurse B to ring me.
But nurse B hasn't been in touch all this time, why should I trust she will this time?
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I get handed one more care plan, badly written in the first person, that I have had no input into, I will go beserk. They tell you to be proactive in your own treatment, then don't tell you anything about it. They promise they will look into various options, and never get back to you then send out a new member of staff who has never heard of it.
I have had it up to HERE/\ with bloody twatting patronising inefficient bollocking mental health bastarding twunt teams. How the hell do I engage with services if they won't engage with me? I was meant to be doing an advance directive. It hasn't happened. Relapse prevention plan hasn't happened. Counselling hasn't happened. Therapy hasn't happened. Medication reviews consist of me saying x drug isn't working on y symptom and them saying it must be and not telling me why, then telling me to not just rely on meds, but giving me absolutely zero idea of what else I can do (and I do everything the websites and books say)
So, I am essentially meant to sit here and wait for my next relapse, when they can railroad me into unsuitable treatment and then refuse to listen to my concerns?