Is it normal to feel like this?

[BertieBotts]

Constantly behind on everything. Housework (though we had a big blitz this weekend and it's feeling more manageable now), doing stuff with DS (I feel like I let him watch too much TV while I veg on the internet and hardly ever play with him because it's boring), and my uni work - it's been 9 weeks of a 10 week term and I've not done the reading for even one lecture. I have time over Christmas to get prepared for next term, but still.

I just constantly seem to have this fuzziness or blankness in my head which wipes out my ability to concentrate, remember things or be motivated at all. And then because I haven't done the preparation for stuff I can't put my all into the stuff that I am doing, and then I feel crap for not doing as well as I could, or as well as I want to, even. And then because I feel crap from that I just feel tired and like I'm too exhausted/blank/fuzzy/feeling sorry for myself to want to do any preparation for the next thing, so when that comes up I am unprepared for that as well.

And then it just goes on a spiral of - I'm crap at X - I'm crap at Y - nobody likes me (which isn't true!!) and I don't know if I'm doing things right and the anxiety kicks in then and I just want to stay at home and curl into a ball and do nothing and see nobody and not deal with anything which then makes the pile of stuff I haven't caught up on bigger.

I just look at other people and don't know how they fit everything in around the times they feel like this, and then I realised that probably other people don't feel like this? Someone told me that what I describe is depression, but what does that mean? Does it mean I'm just like this forever? Do I have to take pills? Can you get over depression? I have tried going to the GP and he said I needed to speak to my HV and come back and then by the time I worked up the nerve to phone and make another appointment it had been so long he couldn't remember what my HV had said and so I just - it's hard because when I'm down I don't feel able to talk about it and when I feel fine I find it hard to articulate because I can't remember what this feels like.

How old is your ds? Unless he's a fairly young baby I'm a bit surprised that your GP has told you to contact the health visitor. You could be describing depression, but equally exhaustion or something physical making you very tired. How is sleep going?

If you can, I would encourage you to do two things: 1) take ds outside every day for even half an hour. It really helps me, the fresh air and the focus on doing something together. I put him on his trike and we go to the swing or something along those lines.

2. Plan an hour or so a day that is yours to relax instead of constantly thinking that you should be doing something else.

He's 3! The heath visitor was fairly closely involved at the time which was why, I think.

Sleep is fine, I get a minimum of 6 hours, average 8, sometimes more. DS sleeps through, so unless he wakes up from a bad dream or something I don't tend to get woken in the night.

Someone I know has just had a thyroid problem diagnosed and I wondered if it could be something like that?

Personally (but I'm no doctor) I think that how you are feeling warrants a blood test.

What you have described sounds exactly how I felt in the past when suffering from depression (both PND and non-PN). Perhaps you could print out your OP and take it to the GP if you find it hard to articulate what you are feeling?

p.s. I also have an underactive thyroid and would say that what you are describing sounds more like depression than thyroid symptoms to me - although the latter can end up leading to the former if it's undiagnosed or not kept under control with the right level of medication (which is what happened to me).

I feel a lot like you at the moment. I put it down to general low level stress and being a bit under the weather health wise (I've had 3 operations this year).

Hows your health? Have you suffered from glandular fever recently (asking because I also felt like this for ages after having that)? Do you pick up viruses / colds easily? Do you eat well?

Agree a blood test might be a good idea.