OCD?

[CheerfulYank]

My friend's husband has become very, very worried about certain things, namely that he will pass diseases onto their daughter, etc. They are diseases that he doesn't have. Namely, he as of late stopped brushing his teeth because his gums bleed when he does? And he is worried he will pass hepatitis onto their daughter. He does not have hepatitis, but someone in their building does.

He doesn't seem to need rituals or anything else I'd associate with OCD, though when he comes in he needs to scrub up in the bathroom for a long time. It's just germs mainly.

Does this sound like OCD, or something else? It's certainly not normal behavior, is it?! My friend and I have only talked about it briefly but when we speak next I'm going to encourage her to help him talk to someone. She's a professional therapist by the way. again! He's done things in the past which are certainly odd but it all seems to be getting out of hand now.

It does sound like OCD - type issues and it sounds like he does need some help with it.

Don't be at the wife being a professional therapist. There's myriad numbers of reasons why that doesn't mean she can help him, from her not really wanting to see the problem to her having told him 5000 times to get help but him refusing. Generally speaking she would not be able to be his therapist.

No, I understand that she wouldn't be able to be his therapist of course! :) But I didn't think of her actually not wanting to see it, though of course that makes sense.

It sounds like OCD. Rituals or compulsions do not have to be seen they can be going on in his head. But excessive time scrubbing up is a compulsion and he will feel very high levels of anxiety if he does not do these. He needs to go to the doctor and ask for a referral for some CBT which is very affective for this disorder.

Now when I think back on some of his behavior...his wife (my good friend) and one of our other friends came to help paint my bedroom for my birthday. He was really nervous about it since we live in an older house; he told her under no circumstances should she scrape anything in case of asbestos or lead paint.

Once we were having a discussion about germs and I mentioned a study I'd seen about the very low incidence of respiratory ailments among farm kids, due to the viruses, etc, that they are exposed to. He started getting irritated and said "no, it's because they don't have pollution!" I explained that the people conducting the study had taken that into account and even given that variable... but he wouldn't let me finish. I think he really needs to feel he has some control over the situation, and all germs are bad and he needs to keep them away? I don't know but I'm starting to worry about him and my friend.

She has anxiety issues too, and they are not near any family, nor do they have friends close by. (She's a few hours drive away from me) Their DD (my Goddaughter :) )...well, they are beyond PFB with her and she is a very cautious little thing already. (She's 14 months old.)

He won't have any sort of break, will he? OCD's not like that is it? I just worry about them, they are moving too and he's starting a new job and...it all seems like rather a lot.

Sorry, just babbling now!

I have recently been diagnosed with ocd ,my diagnosis came after my 18 year old son made a remark about me looking out of the window before I answer the door and getting very anxious if I didnt know who it was,its true ive always been like this -when my Gp said this was what he believed I had my initial reaction was 'im not even tidy so it cant be that' ...He told me people who develop certain mechanisms to cope with everyday life have ocd to some extent,mine is far far worse if im worried or upset and my family have just learnt 'thats the way I am',I am also very anxious about roads since a boy in ds school was killed in a road accident - ds1 is 18 and wont cross the road if hes with me until I say its ok .

Anyway enough about me what im clumsily trying to say is that your friend may drift in and out of his levels of worry and life can be relatively normal.

Unfortunately, moving and starting a new job just adds stress to the situation and OCD thrives on stress. He really needs help, it is very unusual to be able to sort this out on your own. Your whole way of thinking needs to change.
It also is quite common that it gets worse after a baby is born because the feelings of this new reponsibility get out of hand.

Hi Cheefulyank. Mumsnet mental health guide has a reference to the following which might be of interest. X

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/obsessivecompulsivedisorder/obsessivecomplusivedisorder.aspx

hi cheerfulyank- it does sound like OCD to me-I have it. I had at one time a huge fear of contaminating others with imagined diseases,or by being careless in my washing and hygiene. Even looking at a bottle of bleach I used to feel that I'd somehow got it into people's drinks. The worst thing was thinking that maybe I had HIV because of carelessness (in reality it was very unlikely scenario) but it distressed me so much that I took an HIV test -negative of course,but within minutes of having the negative result my mind was clouded with doubts-had they muddled my test up etc. It is hell when it is rampaging so badly as that. It does come and go with more or less intensity -when it was at it's worst I just wanted to sleep and never wake up.
However CBT,usually combined with anti depressants is very effective.

ocd action website
ocd uk website
and this book is very good- Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by David Veale and Rob Willson published by Robinson

As a fellow sufferer with similar issues it definitely sounds as if he has contamination OCD. He should definitely see his Dr and as MaryAnn says a combination of AD's and CBT should really help him.