Possible OCD need reassurance

[EauDeLaPoisson]

I have had depression for many years, its mainly well controlled but I am having issues with compulsive thoughts at the moment and its really distressing me. I wont go into details about the one that keeps occuring at the moment as im crying just thinking about it but it keeps popping into my head regularly and I just do not know why as its so horrific and I keep telling myself maybe its a premonition then beating myself up that if anything does happen its all my fault. Its awful, irrational and I feel like im trapped in a living hell at the moment. Has anyone ever had similar?
Also with regards to work im always worrying ive made a major mistake and im going to end up in big trouble, after every shift im petrified something bad has happened due to me.

I'm wondering if you need some treatment and support rather than reassurance to be honest. Maybe some CBT? You say your depression is controlled, does that mean with meds? In that case a meds review may be helpful x

I would suggest CBT as well. Can be very beneficial. I suffer stress-induced OCD so I can relate to the compulsive thoughts.

I have a son who suffers from ocd and his description of intrusive thoughts which won't go away and cause enormous and incapacitating anxiety does sound like what you are experiencing.I suggest you visit your GP and explain whats happening and ask for a referral for some CBT. It is very affective. It is possible you may need some medication to help with the anxiety either while you wait for an appointment or in order for you to get the most out of the CBT.

BTW he has been told alot of it is due to an 'overdone' sense of responsibility for things and what you describe about work and even the premonition scenario seem to fit this way of thinking.

just want you to know I used to have both the things you are describing. I've only ever told one person what the thoughts were about as they were so distressing. It all coincided with a period of several stressful situations/events in my life. I went to a psychotherapist who also did hypnotherapy, which really helped. Just realising that I was not alone helped enormously. Get some help, you won't regret it. I've heard a lot of good things about CBT, and I would advise you to go private if you can afford it, as waiting lists can be very long on the NHS. Also, you probably don't make any more mistakes than anyone else at work, probably fewer as you are probably a very responsible person as the other poster said above.

Good luck. You can do it!