Stress, please talk to me

[Helo]

I am having a really hard time at work and I am feeling very very stressed. I feel sick all of the time and I just burst into tears all the time. I am not suceeding in my role (I feel I am unsupported and have my union involved).

I have been advised my two external people that I could go off on stress for a week or two.

I have no confidence and feel so very sad and worried all the time. I just feel lost and scared and horrid.

I have a history of mental health problems, particularly self harm related which is not rearing its head at all but I am so scared that I will never be able to cope in the real world. Maybe I am just too unwell to suceed in life :(

My husband and parents are being lovely. I was TTC but we have stopped due to have down and worried I am.

You are just struggling a little, of course you can and WILL succeed, you just need to put soem beleif in yourself. And if your not suceeding in your role maybe its beccause you are destined for something better, or maybe because you are not being supported and not believing in yourself. Maybe you should ask your doctor to refer you to mental health services so they can get you onto a self esteem course. Maybe a couple of weeks off work would also do you and your family good. x

You sound depressed to me, although I am not a doctor and so not qualified to diagnose you.

Who says that you aren't a success? You are more successful than me, I don't even have a job! If you are unsupported at work, does this mean that you are basically coping on your own with little or no relevant training and support? That sounds pretty successful to me, sounds like you are trying your hardest and it's not perfect, so you are calling yourself a failure in some way.

I don't think that you are too unwell to cope in the real world, but perhaps if you lack confidence and self esteem, that makes life very difficult for you, and it needn't be. Perhaps you could take that week or two off, go see your doctor, maybe look into counselling, or CBT or even just getting a self help book from the library. Life needn't be so painful, you can feel better and you are not on your own.

It can often be the most successful and 'perfectionist' people that come down with stress as they are the ones who care about what they're doing.

I once had a very bad episode of stress and ended up quitting a new job after a few weeks. Basically I was thrown in at the deep end, with little support, at a time when I had just finished some gruelling study. I got myself that worked up that I couldn't function and I had some of the thoughts that you're having.

I was out of work for a couple of months before finding a new job where they were supportive. This was over 7 years ago now and I have moved on since a couple of times since then, but quitting that new job was the best thing I did - even though it felt like the worst thing at the time. I am further on in my career and earning double what I would have done if I had stayed in the other job.

I'd take an honest look at things. I've learnt that I am prone to stress and therefore I need a certain type of working environment/support. You can always change your work if necessary.

I can really relate to what you're saying about feeling too unwell to succeed. However, I don't work and have been a stay at home mum for several years now. I personally felt and sometimes feel like I "fail" in my work life and every day life. I have left several jobs due to anxiety and depression and it's horrilbe, so I really relate and feel for you.

This feeling is the worst. You're NOT a failure and you can and will succeed, but the way you're feeling now, it's tough. Please remember and god knows I have to remind myself this ALL the time, people who are the most successful aren't necessarily the best, just the most confident. I'm not suggesting that you're not the best, but the older I get, the more I realise that confidence and being in the right frame of mind is the key. If you're not in a good place, then how can you have confidence in your ability? Having said all that, the most important thing is that you're well. Screw work right now! This is about your health, which is more important than anything. Easier said than done I know, but remember you got to where you've got to for a reason. Look back at all your achievments. That doesn't necessarily mean awards and certificates, but personal achievments that meant something to you personally.

You are valuable. You are important. You will get there.

Sending you lots of understanding and genuine hugs. To echo what's already been said, you are not alone. x