Feeling overwhelmed with everything at the minute - everything is a struggle

[iwouldgoouttonight]

I've always struggled with feeling up and down and anxiety issues, but I've been taking ADs for the last couple of years and felt fairly stable, but the last couple of months I just feel overwhelmed with everything.

DS (5) is still wetting and soiling every day, so I'm worrying about that - we've been to the doctor but he hasn't found any problems but it makes DS upset when we talk about it. Its affecting DS's behaviour so that if he needs a poo he'll either hold it in or do it in his pants but then not tell us and be really difficult and angry/upset. This evening we spent nearly an hour with him screaming.

Work is really busy with loads of (I think unreaslistic) deadlines looming - I do four days a week but don't feel I can fit it all in, and when I speak to my boss about it he is quite dismissive because he's really stressed too.

So I feel as though I'm stressed all day at work, rushing about trying to get things done, then get home and have one or other child screaming or not wanting to do something. Then eventually once they're in bed I'm exhausted.

I keep having lots of minor health issues - colds, excema flaring up, I've got a problem with my foot which I've been waiting for treatment for since Sept so I can't run on it, whch normally makes me feel better. I've got to the stage where I just can't be bothered to do any different kind of exercise - I get home from work, its cold and dark and I can't be bothered to make myself go out and go swimming or whatever.

Things with DP are suffering - I don't show him any affection bcause I just feel so drained so in the evening we just slump in front of the telly and I go to bed quite early. He says he feels under the weather all the time lately too.

My parents help out with the DC's on tuesdays when we're at work but my mum admitted she finds it hard work so I'm worried I'm relying on them too much, but I need their help, I'd struggle even more without it.

Sorry for the long rant - if anyone is reading - it just helps to get it all out sometimes.

Oh you poor love, you have so much stress in your life and it's small wonder you are feeling as you do, and why the depression is rearing it's ugly head again. I have first hand experience of this horrid illness and without all the stress you have I find it very difficult to cope at times. My bad days come in "runs" of about 7 at a time and I never know when thet are coming. Am wrung out today after major crying session and wanting to "disappear" - have felt like this before so should be used to it but I'm not.

Back to you - do you have to work 4 days a week - could you cut your hours down at all. You are "running on empty" at the moment and something has to "give" - think you should start by seeing GP and telling him/her how yu are feeling and get signed off for a couple of weeks to give you a break.

Sorry I can't help about your son's problems - yu could try "children's behaviour" or something similar on MN. He can't be the only child with this problem. I seem to recall one of my sister's kids years ago having this problem and it was thought to be "emotional" but no one knew why and I think he just grew outof it.

How many children do you have? I understand why your mom feels it is hard work - I am a grandmother too and love my gr/kids so much - would die for them, but I still find it hard work and I only look after them very occasionally as the ones who live near are 12 and 10 but the younger ones are miles away.

Sorry don't have anything to say that could help but I know that sometimes it gets it out of your head if you write it down.

Take care (sounds easy doesn't it) but please try and do something to lessen your workload. Does you DH help with the feeding/bathing/putting kids to bed etc. Then I guess there is a meal to be cooked - do you do that too, or does he do it. Not surprised you slump on the sofa.........

Wish I could say something more helpful. x

Thanks NanaNina, its nice to hear from someone who understands. I have two DCs, DS is 5 and DD is nearly 3. They're amazing, but SUCH hard work. I spend so much of my time feeling guilty that I'm not spending enough time with them, but when they're playing up I can't wait to get back to work!

Cutting my hours at work isn't an option, much as I would love to - work won't consider my role as a job share, it was hard enough to get them to agree to four days. And we couldn't manage the mortgage/bills if I cut my hours anyway.

DP does help a lot - he is putting DS to bed at the minute. He helps with getting the DCs dressed in the morning and putting them to bed and he works 4 days a week too so he has a day with the kids. We share the cooking, I probably do more of the cleaning, and definitely more of the washing!

Even though he helps, I find myself doing all the little things he doesn't even think about - making sure homework gets done, putting name tags in clothes, remembering money for whatever at school, buying Christmas and birthday presents and cards, buying clothes for the kids, etc. Each thing is quite small and unstressful on its own but there just seem to be so many of them. I could ask DP to do all these things but I'm so used to doing them its quicker for me to just do them rather than nagging him and waiting for him to get around to it.

I burst into tears at work today when trying to explain to my boss how overwhelmed I am with work. He was helpful and had arranged for some deadlines to be put back, but I'm still really busy. I can't work late like others can to catch up because I have to leave on time to pick the DCs up.

Sorry I've just moaned on again, but it does help to write it all down. Keep just feeling like crying all the time at anything.