Is my job making my depression worse or visa versa?

[slognitivetherapy]

I really can't cope at the moment.

I've got a massive deadline coming up and I just can't motivate myself to work. It takes me ages to get out of bed in the morning, and when I finally do, I wander into work at 10am. Sometimes I can't even motivate myself to get on the bus to go to work.

I used to love my job, but after years of pay freezes; the quantity of work I do and the level of responsibility I've been given in relation to my frankly awful pay grade and lack of promotion prospects, is grinding me down. I feel like management are completely taking the piss (a pay rise is out of the question until April at the very earliest).

A colleague I'm working closely with at the moment is always patronising me; I realise that it's because they're insecure in themselves, and i'm normally super competent in my work, but God it's driving me insane!

I've suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a teen, and I really feel like I'm going to snap soon. I haven't felt this bad since I had a nervous breakdown when I was 18. I keep fantasising about jacking in my job and taking on a less demanding role for a while (working in a cake shop is my current favourite daydream ); but my dp thinks that it wouldn't satisfy me for long and that'll become bored and even more depressed.

Sorry to rant, but has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?

I have been very unwell with complex PTSD and other issues and I have a child with disabilities and a dh who is coming out of depression and who works as a vicar.

I have taken the step from managing lawyer in a specialist immigration practice to part time paralegal in an immigration law team in a law centre. No court appearances, no staff managing issues, no spreadsheet - do a lot of admin and still a lot of law and after 1.5 years have yet to get bored. My boss is delighted to have such an overqualified person in this role and appreciates me. It works for now. Back up the ladder later.

Yes, I have suffered with depression on ad off for most of my adult life. I have never been diagnosed or taken ADs, but I have had to manage my working life very carefully, as work-related stress can be a major depression trigger for me. I work part-time and am self employed (wont give too much detail away here as dont want to be outed in RL), but it is the only way I manage. If I worked full time or had very strict set hours or a long commute I simply wouldnt cope ling term. It sounds self indulgent written down, but believe me, I have been very close to breaking point before and I now know what I need to do to limit the chances of me getting to that stage again.