DP in hell of a state

[Earthymama]

DP has been saying there is no point to life for a couple of days. This is after years of ups and downs with severe depression. with a bad patch recently. Meds have been increased but no noticeable response yet.
Managers put pressure on to return to work and I think it's too much. I would say stay at home but there is an event tomorrow. DP feels colleagues will not cope or will feel totaaly let down.
I am so scared.
What shall I do? I sent letter to GP today, DP is doctor-phobic.
Should I get DP to the Medical centre first thing, insist DP stays off or what.
DP has shut down now and is not capable of responding.
We are good friends with colleagues.
There are threatened redundancies.
sorry for rambling.

You must know your DP by now but does it sound like "there is no point to life"? Or is it more "I don't want to live anymore?" If you think it's more of the latter then GP sounds a good idea. I commonly think the former (depression sufferer) but it doesn't always mean that I want to die or end my own life. How recent were his meds increased?

It must be a huge worry for you but I can see it from both sides. When I was in a similar situation to your DP I pushed on because of looming redundancy. It's not ideal and at times it did feel a bit of a "gamble", ie "can I somehow pull it off" or "will I end up finishing myself off"! It's as good as ended for me now work-wise (I wasn't made redundant but secured a new job that I'm now to ill to face) and I'm still fighting depression-wise but importantly for me I'm not left redundant wondering "what if I'd tried that bit harder to hang in there at work instead of going off sick with mh problems, would I have escaped redundancy?" I know I can't help being sick but I think I'm less upset with the outcome this way (even though the ultimate outcome is the same ie not working). I wonder if your DP has similar thoughts.

Tbh, GP should be first point of call as he/she will be able to assess and recommend/refer/sign-off work etc as he/she sees fit.

You're not rambling at all. Has DP been signed off for a specified period? What are the implications of his not going back to work any time soon?

I do feel for you - been through something of this with a DS.

A letter to the GP was a good step to take. Could the GP visit DP at home? Could s/he refer DP to the mental health services? Is he with them already?As DP is (I guess!) over 18, they, even the GP, may be reluctant to speak with you very much (yes, it's bloody unhelpful when you're the de facto carer) unless DP signs a letter to the effect that they may. (You could write it - he signs - tell him that it would make life much easier, which it would.) Also, surgery should have a form DP can sign to say that GP can share with you. (The letter might be more useful for the MH services - a signed form might suffice for the GP.) The worst thing is to have no-one speak to you - DP/GP etc.

Could you speak with one of DP's managers or a close colleague? Could DP return to work part time, at a slower pace, for the time being?

Sorry, lots of questions! Hope you get some rest tonight - lots of people here to support.

Thank you for your replies. It's so isolating as DP is SO ashamed,
She (sorry didn't say earlier)was signed off two weeks ago but was guilt triped into going back.
She feels though work managers etc think she is a skiver.
I'll be back tomorrow, thank you again
EM

Just wanted to say that our GP is amazing, so understanding and let's me sort things for DP.
It's hard though I can't go into work for her.
Where do you stop?

is it big company with occupational health/Hr section or small company?
depends what job DP will need to do for the event.
in the end if there are redundancies there will be redundancies and it wont make much difference - they cant use sick leave to choose Dp over someone esle for redundancy

I'm back to say thanks again. We so the GP who was so kind, changed meds and has arranged an assessment to decide which talking therapy is appropriate.

DP didn't go to work, has been signed off for a month.
lets hope all this works thanks again EM