really struggling tonight

[madmomma]

35 wks pregnant, depressive - on reduced meds, feel quite desperate. Not sleeping, massively anxious and low, struggling to manage. Feels like there's no way out of the misery. ( I don't mean I'm suicidal). Just so sick of life. Can't seem to keep my head above water for more than an hour & can't see any end to it. Just got married & feel have made huge mistake. Any ideas or dvice on how I can get through the rest of my pregnancy? Thanks for reading.

Sending you a huge hug. Are GP or midwife sympathetic? Is there a friend who could manage an actual cuddle or could you try counselling? Husband supportive? You have done so well to be 35 weeks and on reduced meds. Do not usually suffer from depression but generally seem to get in a funk at the end of a pregnancy anyway. Sodding hormones! I would really recommend you talk to someone to get you through the last bit and ensure you have any help you need when your wonderful baby puts in an appearance!

Sounds like you should not be on reduced meds. Which AD are you on?

Aww thanks for the hug - that's made me cry (doesn't take much)
GP and midwife pleasant enough but quite unhelpful really. GP has no idea about MH at all, and is averse to me being on medication, despite the psychiatrist advising that I stay on it.
I have lovely friends who know pretty much how I am, but they're very busy with their own families.
Husband is a sweetie but too close to help sometimes, if you know what I mean. We're up to our necks in financial shit and have various other pressures - like we're living in a building site because we've run out of money to finish the renovations we enthusiastically started. He's working long hours and has important exams in a week. Perfect storm really :(

madmouse I'm on 20mg of fluoxitine and my normal dose is 40mg.

can you ask your doctor if you can switch to sertraline which is safe in pregnancy so that you can go up to a more effective dose?

Yes that's a good idea. I debated switching to sertraline early in the pregnancy but the psychiatrist thought better not disturb what works. It could well be that the benefit of the higher dose would cancel out the detrimental effect of switching drug. Think I'll ring the MH service tomorrow rather than see my GP. Wish they could give me something to help me sleep - I think that would make me feel better. I'm literally lying awake all night worrying. Told MW & she had no advice other than 'have a milky drink'. No shit?

Milk? Really? OMG what the hell does she recommend once you are in labour? I find a nice apple really helpful. (Apologies for sarcasm but I agree you should probably bypass her in this matter.)

Milk - WTF how unhelpful. She's better of fairly saying that nothing is safe in pregnancy...

God it's a fucking minefield isn't it - the medication business when pregnant. With my last baby I stayed on fluoxitine, but he had quite unpleasant withdrawls. I've got the lovely, guilt-inducing question looming in my mind of should I breastfeed on meds or put her on bottles? Just feel like a shit mum whatever I do.

you are not a bad mum and any blame lies on the door of your depression, not you. And you are not your depression.

When I said nothing was safe BTW I meant in terms of sleeping tablets not ADS

Sertraline is fine in BF

Thanks madmouse. Think I'm just plain overwhelmed. Wish I wasn't looking forward more to ramping my meds back up than meeting my new baby.

Until you feel better, looking forward to having your baby is too hard a task. Try not to blame yourself for what is not your fault.

Thanks. You're so kind.x

I'm not being kind, I'm serious. Depression robs you of so much. It's a nasty crap rubbish illness.

Very much agree. Had it since I was 9. Could cheerfully saw my own head off with frustration sometimes. But when you think that people didn't used to have medications for it... we're lucky these days.

have a look at the linden method, it really is fantastic, my daughter has had great results with it , I'm sure it would help

Thanks, I'll google that jomal. Never heard of it. Felt worse this morning so took myself to CPN & told her I'm concerned. She's told the consultant, who's arranged to see me on Mon. He's also asked the team leaded - whoever that is- to put some support in place for me over the next few weeks. Slept most of the day as my Mum & husband are on tag team. Thanks so much for your support last night. It's such a lovely thing to know that someone's here.x

How are you feeling now, madmomma?

Not happy, but more stable thanks,and sleeping a bit better. Saw psychistrist today & she's swapped my meds to sertraline as I can take more of it without affecting the baby. I'm fairly sure I'm vile to live with at the moment, and equally I'm finding DH a right pita. Such is life in late pregnancy perhaps.

madmomma have you taken time to read the baby catalogues and go round the shops and if you cant afford the stuff then make stuff. Baby will be coming soon and needs stuff.

Baby's got plenty of stuff due to me having all my 1 yr old's hand me downs & stuff from friends' baby girls. Have moses basket & planning to breastfeed so hopefully have it covered.

NICE recommend Sertraline cos it's apparently the lowest transference into breast milk. If you are NOT planning to BF you can use other ADs. If it doesn't work for you talk to your doc. I was switched back to another AD after 10 weeks BF as Sertraline didn't work too well for me, but we are all different. There see some great ADs out there - I gave up BF cos I wanted to feel closer to my son!!! And it so worked for me.... Hugs x

you could make something for this special one. just sayin. something thats not a hand me down.something that you made.even booties.