Could treatment be making me ill?

[SenseofEntitlement]

I've been wondering. Does the fact that I am off work, having appointments, taking medication etc make me more ill by confirming in my mind that I am ill? (If that makes sense)

Whenever I try to do anything normal, like have a lie in, get a job, start a new exercise class, etc, I get loads of concern off my family and the MH professionals. Plus every time I do anything as simple as get an over the counter medicine I have to check if it clashes with what I take already.

I feel like being ill is my full time job.

Could this be a possibility, do you think? If I started telling myself that I USED to be bipolar, would I start feeling better?

I do know what you mean. It's a good point.

I have found since taking ADs, I have had moments or days when I probably needed to see a doctor. Often though what happens is the doctor says to you when you're taking meds, 'I'll see you in a months time'. So you book an appointment for then. What usually happens is when the day comes around for me next to see a doctor, I turn up and I'm feeling ok. However as I'm seeing the doctor that day I should be 'ill' shouldn't I?

It's lovely that people care but because depression is a mental illness, it has a habit of making you feel like if you have no physical symptoms, you don't need to see a doctor, and if you're having a good day you don't want to be reminded of your fragile mental state. If you feel fine you do want to feel that you're getting better and you're not labelled 'depressed'.

I've been taking my ADs for quite a while now and recently went into a chemist to get some more. On this occasion I saw a different pharmacist who gave me my meds and whilst doing so said ' Right you take x amount of tablets every night' . I know he was only doing his job but the way he spoke to me made me feel uncomfortable. I felt like he was overdoing things a little, like he thought I was going to overdose. I think there is this presumption by some people that if you suffer with depression, you can't be trusted to be sensible with your medication. Needless to say his manner affected my mood for quite a while after. I now won't go into the chemist when he is likely to be there. I want to be treated like a grown up and not patronised.

I agree with you that there are definitely times when you want people to back off and just let you live your life.

Sorry, you can't not be bipolar, and denying it isn't going to work either.

Ooh that's a bit harsh.

I know what you mean about the pharmacist. Even worse with taking anti psychotics or mood stabilisers. They are only doing their job, but especially when I was only getting weekly prescriptions, I felt like I had to be "extra sane" while I was getting them, which I'm sure only had the effect of making me look more unhinged.

Katharine - Plenty of people have mild bipolar though, and manage without medication, hospital, community teams and all that faffing.

Sorry, didn't mean to be harsh. It's good to be realistic though. Mental ill health can make us believe anything we like to, it isn't always helpful.

I agree with Katharine. In particular in case of bipolar it can be a bad sign if someone starts denying they have a mental illness as it can be a symptom of a starting manic/euphoric episode.

A better thought is that bipolar is what you have not what you are. You are your own fully rounded interesting personality. Accept the treatment you need and then go about living your life to the full.

And OP - it may be true that plenty of people have it mild and manage on their own, I don't know. But even if true that doesn't mean you can. The fact that so many people get concerned when you have a lie in or an exercise class leads me to believe that your bipolar is not that mild..

I'm not sure thatSOE is in denial. I also think that she would like to 'live her life to the full' but feels she can't because she is being closely monitored by those around her.

In this respect I believe she feels like her illness is holding her back.

There is obviously a need to keep an eye on someone who suffers with Bipolar but the balance also needs to be right.

That's exactly what I meant madmouse.