I haven't name changed although I maybe should have.

[Cathycomehome]

I suffer from bipolar disorder, or manic depression, as does my dad and one of my brothers. All of us successfully control the condition, and have professional jobs and (admittedly not always easy) long term relationships.

Tonight,my eleven year old son has totally flipped.He hit me hard, kicked me in the face, and screamed that I am a b*tch, then trashed his room. Because I expected him to follow an instruction. He then veered to apology mode. Mood change almost instant.

I am so upset - his moods have been a bit variable lately, but I put it down to pre adolescence. What should I do?

How easy is it to diagnose? I would imagine that puberty hormones could make such a condition worse if it is that but it is certainly worth investigating.

:( No advice really, but didn't want to read and run. I hope you are okay... Hopefully someone with some advice will be here soon. xx

Would one of the proffessionals you see be able to give you advice? Has his school noticed anything?

I have no idea but hope you get some answers x

I don't know. My dad was diagnosed at 40odd, my brother at 25 and me at 16. I always thought my son seemed so "normal" until recently, but I am afraid now. ( I have "normal" brothers, and his dad has no mental health issues).

Is he in a new school? Is he having problems or being bullied? If it's a one off I might be inclined to see if there is anything else going on that could've led to this reaction. Bi polar does run in families but it doesn't have to mean that's what caused this.

He is at a new school - started Y7 in September, and is the youngest in the school (end August birthday). He has diagnosed and medicated ADHD. I am so worried. I know from experience that this bi polar is a manageable condition, but it makes life that bit harder, and I really hoped he had escaped it.

It needn't be bi polar. Do his ADHD meds need tweaking? He may be due a growth spurt so they may need looking at. In our family my generation have all escaped bi polar, he might do too

Is it possible that this is a combination of puberty hormones and ADHD? I'm asking as you obviously are an expert in the field of bipolar and I'm very much not. If you have any inkling that he may be bipolar too I would go talk to your GP without your son present and put your concern across. I woud assume it's not easy to diagnose young, but early diagnosis will make a big difference?

Thank you so much for reply- he is due a review of his medication next week, so I will bring it up then.

Hi there. My DH has bipolar and I too worry that my kids will get it. The difficult thing with my DH is trying not to put everything down to bipolar. "Normal" people also have mood swings and get angry sometimes and lose control. Don't be too hasty to put it down to bipolar.
I really hope he doesn't have it but as you have said it is manageable and especially if he is diagnosed at an early age then will hopefully be easier to deal with. However don't jump to any conclusions just yet. Good Luck.

Try to keep a record of anything that happens between now and the appointment, at least that way it may help paint a more detailed picture

Thank you all for advice/reassurance. I am a "bipolar success story", mainly because my dad was already diagnosed when I showed symptoms and successfully helped, and my brother about the same time. I know it is managable - I am a teacher, as is my dad, and brother in question is a university lecturer. But all of us have had serious personal relationship issues, mine for some reason worse than my dad or my brothers, and my main relief in parenting has been that our son seemed so "normal". I am frightened for him.

My childhood was occasionally SHOCKING when my dad was undiagnosed. He once kidnapped me (just me, not my brothers) and took me to the Isle of Mull where he thought we were going to become crofters. My dad is a Latin and Ancient Greek teacher. I was rescued by helicopter. For example.

See - mumsnet moved this to mental health, which I can understand, but it also means very few reponses. C'est la vie, I guess. I thought AIBU would get more looks and maybe more good advice from people who might know, but not look at mental health board.

I do completely understand your fears.

I spent a childhood in and out of care due to mum's psychotic episodes and went through quite a few hairy times so I know what you mean. There have been times in my adult life when I've had depression but am terrified beyond belief of taking ADs a) because of how spaced out mum was in them and how ill she was and b) because I was convinced social services would take my kids like they took us. There have also been times when I've feared for DD,she went through stuff that no child should go through (completely out of my hands but it has screwed her up a bit). But so far we've escaped the bi-polar.

Does school have a pastoral care person you could speak to? I work with children in a special school setting, we take children from 3-19 and some of the pupils with ADHD find the transition to secondary really tough. They seem ok for the first half term then they have major problems in this one, it's almost like the honeymoon period is over.

Maybe mumsnet need to look at leaving the thread title on the original forum it was posted in but moving the main body to the forum they think is more fitting?

Thanks,hellhasnofury. It's really good to hear people who understand! My son has never experienced psychotic episodes, as my condition is well managed as is that of my father (now) and brother.

I was just worried (maybe hyper sensitive) that he showed signs of this disorder in hbis behaviour.

I agree - can you ask them to move it back? It seems to me that you are more asking "could this be done my an upset 11 yo who has no MH problems?" rather than asking a MH question.

I don't have an 11yo son, so I don't know. It seems extreme, but otoh I remember getting quite riled as a teenager without actually having anything like depression or bipolar. I was shouty, not violent, but was very cross and pent up, can imagine as a different person it could have erupted to violence.

Lastly, sending you a hug. Horrible thing to happen, and with the additional worries about MH too it must be very hard. do you have family support?

I don't think you're being hyper sensitive at all. Will you let us know how he and you get on?

Have you yourself had mood swings where you lost it? (not blaming you, have been there myself) In which case could DS have picked up on that behaviour - not as acceptable behaviour, but as possible behaviour?

Partner could never understand how I could switch out of the mood so quickly - but it was an attempt to act as if it had never happened so as to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

It can be scary being taken over by rage, are you able to be reassuring?

Wishing you all the best.

Thanks for advice. I am going to be honest. He has seen me really shout about three times, and I once slapped his dad. Ashamed much??

That is all though. He has NEVER seen a dangerous act of violence and the shouting was like "RIGHT!!, I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW!!".

I can't justify the slap.

Dear lord if they are your greatest sins I reckon you should be patting yourself firmly on the back.

My kids have seen stuff between me and DH that, in an ideal world, they shouldn't have witnessed but they assure me with their hands on their hearts that they have not one clue what I am talking about when I mention them. I really don't think there is anything there that is that bad.

ThaNKS, HELLHASNOFURY, i REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR COMMENTS - i JUST THINK THAT IF I POSTED THAT HIS DAD HAD HIT ME (HARD) IN THE FACE, IT WOULD BE A DIFFERENT COMMENT! Caps lock!! Sorry!! Really, really thanks for responding - I feel a bit alone with this one.

Honestly, thanks for reassurance, I really do appreciate it.

In which case, cathy, don't worry that this particular behavour is indicative of bipolar.

Do you know what seemed to be the trigger? ADHD must be frustrating for the person who has it, is he hyperactive (finds it hard to concentrate) or inattentive (can't get started)?