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Is this Agoraphobia? Please help!

10 replies

BlackCatinaWoollyhat · 08/11/2011 14:19

I sometimes get this feeling like I don't want to go out. I have it today.Sad
I feel scared inside at the thought of going out. And I have been putting it off all day. (Supposed to go to post office to collect something)
I manage to do the school run because I Have to.
Some days I am fine and manage to go out but most days I stay home.
I don't know if it is because I have a toddler and in the past she has had awful tantrums when we have been out shopping. This makes me feel embarrassed. I'm not blaming my toddler as I know it is normal at her age to have tantrums and it's not her fault. Also it can be hard to get in and out of the post office with the pram as I think there are steps.(Another reason for putting it off)
If I have DH to go out with I am o.k. but am having trouble going out on my own.
How do I get over it? I feel silly.Blush

OP posts:
madmouse · 08/11/2011 18:25

If it is agoraphobia you have done well to recognise it early. If you feel that this problem is getting in the way of normal life it may be wise to discuss it with your GP in case some CBT will help.

BlackCatinaWoollyhat · 09/11/2011 06:44

Thanks madmouse. I managed to go (to post office) after I had picked DS up from school. He came with me and helped with the doors at the P O so I could get the pram up the steps and in the doors. I can't rely on him to be an emotional crutch, he is only 8yrs.
I am worried about doing my Christmas shopping in the next 2 months cause the shops get so busy.

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amberjane · 09/11/2011 07:27

oh this could be me writing this! I hate going out now, finding so hard to do school run too, with dd age 8, somehow managing it but a real struggle, makes me feel sick to the core. I rush my walk home and there i stay till 3 pm. Sorry no advice to give really but could not read and run. I would however seek medical advice, have done this myself, put me on anti deps, still waiting for them to kick in ..... if they ever will. Has anything triggered this struggle for you? |Must admit to doing all my shopping online now but know this is a cop out for me. Feel free to inbox me anytime if you want to let off steam or chat xxxxxxx

serotoninbutterfly · 09/11/2011 07:31

I'm in the same boat, off work atm with work-related stress, which has become a general anxiety thing. Can't leave the house by myself, can't drive the car... Please feel free to PM me too, and make sure you get to the doctors because you need to think aboi

serotoninbutterfly · 09/11/2011 07:33

Sorry little one pressed send for me. You need to think about medication and Cognitive Therapy. Look at a website called nomorepanic, they have lots of self help tips.

BlackCatinaWoollyhat · 09/11/2011 09:22

Thanks for replies. Glad I'm not the only one to feel like this.
Some days I do manage to go out but most of the time I put it off. I feel like I am silly cause I know lots of people manage to go out and about with no problem. I feel when you have a toddler with you as well and the toddler is having a tantrum, it draws attention to you and you feel like you are being judged. It is also awkward to get around the shops with a pram too especially if it is busy.
Will have a look at that website, Thanks x

OP posts:
amberjane · 09/11/2011 09:27

most of all dont ever think you are being silly cos how you feel is very real! Its a horrid feeling and takes over so baby steps and we will get there. Take care of yourself xx

25goingon95 · 10/11/2011 13:29

Ive had agoraphobia, mine started after the birth of my 2nd child. Ive always had quite a severe anxiety disorder but i managed this myself..but then the hormones during pregnancy kicked me over the edge . After i had DD2 by c section it was snowing heavily, and icy outside. Everyone persuaded me to stay home so i didn't slip as i was still sore and recovering. I was very happy about this and continued to stay home, slowly and silently falling into the grip of agoraphobia...each day going to the window and sang to DH "oh it is still bad out there, i think i'll stay home today just incase" I can see now i was using it as an excuse as deep down i knew i couldn't go out.

DH was having to do the shopping and come out of work to take DD1 to school and pick her up each day. When i HAD to leave the house i had awful panic attacks, i used to rush everywhere. At one doctors appointment for a check up my heart rate was so high and i was actually pacing the doctors room trying to chat normally and pretend i was ok :( she seemed concerned but didn't ask if everything was ok! Also i had to wait until most of the parents and kids had left the playground before dashing in to school get my DD and back to the car. I would miss off half my shopping list at the shop because i was rushing. I'd stop in the aisle and hold my head for a second whn it all got too much. It was terrible. I finally went to see my GP who put me on the list for CBT and i have had a year of that. It has changed my life :) Once the fear of the symptoms went away, so did the symptoms. I can go out as normal now, i still have anxiety every now and then but nothing that really gets in the way of life. I haven't done internet food shop for over a year now, i actually enjoy going!! Because it was such a struggle for a long time, even before my agoraphobia.

I really reccommend CBT, i had a brilliant therapist who i am so grateful to for helping me beat this.

Good luck, it is really really hard. One of the things that got me through and the therapist often commented on it, was my determination. I had to get through agoraphobia, for my DC. I had to keep on going, getting out and about with them. I was so concerned that they would miss out if i didn't want to go out.

Hope this helps a little, sorry for going on Blush

25goingon95 · 10/11/2011 13:30

*saying not sang! :)

BlackCatinaWoollyhat · 10/11/2011 14:50

25goingon95 Thankyou for your reply. That must have been really hard when you had it bad. Glad you are better now.
I haven't been out since Tuesday (apart from doing the school run). I'm not so bad that I have a panic attack if I go out but I do sometimes feel really anxious inside. I have had panic attacks in the past though so I know how scary they are.
My kitchen is getting less and less food in as the week goes on. We have enough but will need to do the shopping before long. The trouble is my DH is too helpful. He would go shopping for us If we NEED something even though he has been to work in the daytime. I feel really bad about this cause I know if I could just make the effort I could do it!
I think I know deep down that I need some sort of help but I keep telling myself that I'm alright and I'm just being silly!

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