Rituals in young children

[Thomcat]

I am a bit worried about my 5 year old, maybe a bit overly worried but thought the best thing I could do for now would be to trash out these worries with Mumsnetters.

In the last week I have noticed my 5 year old tap her cheeks, then cross her arms at the wrist and tap again and then, i think because she does it quickly, she taps again with uncrossed arms.

The reason I'm possibly overworried about this is because my 36 yr old sister has HORRIFIC OCD and has had it since she was 3, really bad since she was 13. It's the sort of OCD that prevents her working, going out, having friends.... or a life sad

Last night I spoke to DD2 about this, very gently, asking her, in a smiley way how it made her feel when she did this and did she have nay other little thigns she liked to do like this.

She showed me how she liked to pull her top down, 2 tugs to each side, cross arms and tug again etc and then she showed me how she likes to click her teeth together in little multiples in a certain way and how each set of teeth tapping together has a colour code or something.

I told her it was ok, that it was fine and that I had a funny little thing about colouring in when I was little and assured her not to worry about telling me this stuff etc.

I've made an appt to go and see my GO next week to talk about if there is anything I should or shouldn't do.

Meanwhile, anyone else with experience of this.
Am paranoid she'll end up with OCD as bad as my sister and I already have a child with additional needs.
It's that time of the month for me so probably extra emotional but can NOT stop crying!

All children do things like that - rituals are inherently comforting and soothing and they can be a way for children to self-sooth. My son lines up cars when he is tired, moves the first one forward, then the next and so on. I still now make certain gestures, almost subconsciously, and I certainly do not have OCD.

If you go to the docs do go without your dd (as I understand you are anyway).

I don't know that all children do do that madmouse though. Do they??? I mean I hoped this would be the case, hence asking on here, hoping lots of people would come along and tell me how 'normal' it is, but that hasn't been the case to be honest. So far you are the only person on here or out of my circle of friends with children that has said they think it's "normal".
I'm hoping it's nothing to worry about but due to my sisters OCD I have that worry bubble in the pit of my stomach. The appt is next week (and yes I'm going alone) so was hoping that while I wait some Mumsnetters can reassure me.
It IS comforting to hear you and your son do little thigns when you are tired etc and do not have full blown OCD. Thank you for your post.

If you want to receive lots of responses including ones saying their child does this too, you have posted in the wrong section. This part of MN is mostly about adult MH and those who post here already have MH in mind. You could try somewhere like '_chat'

Thanks Madmouse. When no-one had replied hours later I posted this in a few topic areas actually but not in chat.

Hi TC.

My dd (age 8.10) does this too, has done since she was 2.5 My sister also has OCD, also by the sounds of it not as severe as your sister.

My sister and my dd also both suffer from trichtillomania, compulsive hairpulling. Dsis has never stopped (she started age 14). Dd started age 4 and has for now (crosses fingers, touches wood) stopped this compulsion.

Dd, from the age of 2.5 and 7 had many many tics, both motor and vocal tics. The vocal tics have not stopped but she still has phases of tics and rituals. She currently has a lip puffing tic and a foot tapping ritual (which means she cannot walk in a straight line without some odd shuffle every few steps to get the ritual tapping done) Both of these are severe enought for dd's friends and teachers to notice.

I would like to reassure you and say that many children suffer from this, but I don't think this is the case. Certainly, some of dd's friends have the odd little habit, but none have had the frequent recurrent bout of tics / rituals that she has.
I also believe things like this are genetic.

There is however no reason to believe your dd2 will be as severe as your dsis. Certainly, whilst dd and my dsis have similar tics and issues, dd's trichotillomania appears under control whilst my dsis permanently wears headscarves.

If I were you I would ask advice re your dd, if only to get on record what she currently exhibits and it could be used for future reference as a comparison should her ocd become worse. We did this with dd when the hairpulling and tics were at their most severe 3 years ago. So far we have not sought help again but should she exhibit more sever symptoms again we can go back and they know this is a recurring issue.

Good luck, try not to worry. Time of the month does not help, I have beent here myself and cried buckets.

Please feel free to pm me if you wish, if only to vent.

You're doing the right thing going to the dr. Dd now 15 has severe OCD which began with tics, and has moved on to many other things.
Hope you get reassurance.

BehindLockNumberNine - thank you SO much for your kind post and for sharing that with me. I find no comfort that your DC have rituals, tics and trichtillomania but at the same time it is nice to know I have someone to talk to. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your post and the offer to PM you. I may well do that once I have spoken tot he GP. Thanks again.

Having a child with Down's syndrome, a sister with OCD, a stepsister with a form of schizophrenia and having had to have DD2's ovary removed I kind of stupidly thought that that would be my lot. You never know what is round the corner do you.

I'm sorry to hear that MrsRoberDuvall If you don't mind me asking what form did the tics take? Did you seek advice immediatley and was there anything you have since been told you could have done early on to make the OCD less severe? Having a sister with OCD I think I know the answer to that but in those days no-one knew what OCD was and it took years to get my sister any help.

She would blink a lot, make noises in her throat, open her mouth and stretch her neck..I thought she had Tourette's, but it wasn't.
We took her to the drs in yr 5 when it became really obvious. She wasn't diagnosed formally till end of yr 6.
Tbh the drs were not a great deal of help..we had some CbT through CAHMS but it was private therapy that helped more.
She is particularly bad at the moment, doesn't help she is a teenager.

Not sure how well young children respond to treatment...took dd a while to understand what would happen.

Thanks you for talking to me about this and sharing this personal stuff with me, it's a help and I really appreciate it. I'm just so sorry it's a conversation any of us have to have

I had a lot of ritualistic behaviours as a child mainly involving numbers and letters. It was my way of dealing with anxiety and a coping method. I was badly abused as a child but I'm definitely not saying that this is the case with your daughter. Good luck and sorry you're going through it. If you don't get much help from the GP or CAMHS I would strongly recommend trying to see a private child therapist. I did for my daughter to deal with some of the abuse she witnessed between me and her Dad and it's best to get help as early as you can IMO.

Thomcat...pm me if you want more info x

Thanks Queenofwhatever. I'll do that. I'm as sure as I can be there is no abuse of ANY kind going on but it would appear from what everyone has said it's to do with being anxious. That in itself is tearing me apart, she seems so fine, I can't bear the idea that she is anxious about something Ohhhh bloody hell, where's that cotton wool?

MrsRobertDuval, thank you for that kind offer. I may well do that, x

The GP referred her to CAMHS by the way.