Day 5 of fluoxetine and feeling TERRIBLE

[NamesAllGone]

(have namechanged for various reasons - sorry)

So after feeling shocking for many weeks I finally had just had enough on Monday morning and after yelling at dd4 again, I rang drs and went to see him. He has prescribed fluoxetine at my request. I have had citalopram twice before - first time about 8 yrs ago and it worked well, last time about 2 yrs ago and it didnt work so well and I got lots of side effects (odd!) so I was reluctant to try that again.
Have done all the other stuff, cbt etc which helps a bit.....TBH most of it is down to just being overwhelemed in life. DH is having a seriously crap time at work and working all hours, we have a large family, I work almost full time, and we have no extended family or friends really anywhere near by so life is fairly full on. one of my daughters has special needs and we are currently battling with school to get her what she needs which is REALLY stressing me out etc....ANyway - the bottom line is I am just not coping...
But now on day 5 of fluoxetine and I feel AWFUL. I felt ok first couple of days, partly relieved really for having taken the step, but today I'm shocking.Low,irritable,anxious etc, I cant decide if I am more anxious or if I was this bad before....also VV tired, yet sort of edgy at the same time....and sort of puzzled and kind of confused by life - as if I am sort of not really taking part!!! oh, and sick!
SO...will this improve??? I know I should stick with it, but part of me is saying that I just feel worse now so maybe it wasnt the right thing.....
Oh, everything is such a mess.... why cant I just pull myself together. I am so fed up of being such a horrible shouty mummy to my gorgeous dc, they deserve so much better

Yes, it will improve, I promise. You've done absolutely the right thing. Stick with it!

This is the worst part, the worst of the side effects should start to clear in a couple of days. arround day 14 you should start to feel a lot better. Most of the side effets will be gone b then too.

I felt particularly anxious after starting fluoxetine. I think what made it worse was drinking caffeine. I cut it out for a few days and felt much better so it maybe worth a try. My hands were literally shaking with anxiety but it eased after cutting out caffeine and now, although I'm on a much higher dose I feel much better. In fact today I said I was happy - the first time in months.

I felt dreadful for about the first 3 weeks on fluoxetine, try to take it as easy as you can. If it's not better after that, go back to the GP, it's not for everyone. I had a friend who had a bad reaction, but give it chance

thanks all. I will persist and see how it goes. I have been having lots of caffeine - so will try cutting that down as that may well help. Have just taken day 6 dose. Feel slightly less terrible today than yesterday, so will see how it goes. I really hope that it turns out to be the right thing - I am so desperate to feel better.
Thanks for the encouragement.

Oh how I feel for you namesallgone - it is only people who have/are suffering this horrid illness can begin to understand what it is like. You have so much going on in your life, when I'm sure all you want to do is get under your duvet and sleep, doze or just "be" - you really must stop thinking that you should "pull yourself together" - that's what people who haven't experienced depression and anxiety think we should do. Don't people realise that if we could we would....in fact we'd do anything to get out of this awful feeling. You can't pull yourself together any more than you could mend your own broken leg.
I won't go into detail but let's just say depression and anxiety are no stranger to me, and when the bad days come it is hell and I am in the fortunate position that I don't have young children and am retired.

I am on an old fashioned tryclic drug imipramine which seems to suit me. GPs seem to like prescribing the SSRIs now but they act differently on different people and as you have discovered for yourself what works in one episode doesn't necessarily work the next time. It is one bloody deceitful illness.

Do you mind my asking why you requested fluoxetine (is it Prozac) I suffered a major episode of depression last Easter (my 2nd one) and was in psych ward for 3 months, and asked for imipramine because it had worked the last time. I too felt unbelievable terrible for the first few days, but then I went into hospital and gradually got better, but still have frequent blips (going into depressive state for a few days every few weeks) sorry I wasn'gt going to be pouring my stuff out when you have so much more to deal with.

Think you should try to ride it out - trouble is they take up to 4 weeks to kick in, so it's a long haul isn't it and it's all trial and error anyway.

I know it's terrible at the moment but you have to believe that this will pass - depression has a beginning, a middle and an end, though no one can give you time scales.

Wish I could do more for you - all I can say is I 100% know how you feel and hope you can get a bit more peace of mind soon. Thinking of you NN

Thanks NanaNina - hope you are doign OK just now, it sounds as if you have been through a lot and must be very brave. I asked for fluoxetine as I know a few people who have had success with it, I was nervous about trying the older style as I cant afford to be too sedated! As you say though it is really just trial and error, what works for one oerson may not for another, and yes I was dissappointed last time when citalopram didnt seem to work again....
Thought I would update as it may help someone else in the future....
Today is day 8 and I am feeling much better than I was on day 5.
Less anxious, less shakey, and less vague and confused.Still feeling more tired than usual and the odd wave of nausea but nothing unbearable.
I am also feeling a TINY bit more positive too I think. Probably helps that I am on anual leave from work for a few days, but feeling slightly less overwhelemed. I am trying to take it a bit easier on myself too which helps. I do have very high expectations of myself, and am trying to remind myself that I am not well and need to take it easy (well as easy as I can with 6DC, a house to run and a stressful job to maintain LOL!)
I am glad I have hung in there - hopefully over the next few days and weeks I will start to feel better and will be have been worth it.
Hope everyone else is doing well.

Oh Nallgone - so so glad that things have eased up a tiny bit for you. I just can't imagine how you are coping with 6 children!! and a house to run and stressful job - it's small wonder you are feeling so wrung out. There is a book I borrowed called "Depression the Curse of the Strong" (can't remember who wrote it but you could find it on Amazon (mind I don't think you'd have time to read it!) You say you have high expectations of yourself and must remind yourself that you are ill and must take it easy - you really must try to stick to that for your own sake and for your family.

It sounds like you have turned a little corner and will continue to turn a few more on your journey out of depression. I am going to Ireland tomorrow to visit family so won't be on for a week, but take care and slow down and let something that is not essential go.......sending you warm wishes NNx

Omg I feel for you, I was the same it was horrible, thought these feelings would never go away but they do! Hang in there, it will be ok soon

hope you have a nice break nananina. have ordered that book - it looks interesting.
well, yesterday was quite a good day. not at all anxious and feeling quite positive, then had a terrible night's sleep, kept waking up feeling panicy - no idea why and feel rough today. Irritable, edgy, low , anxious etc....Have absolutely no patience with DC dont know why I felt better yesterday then rubbish again today...sigh...
Still, I am on day 10 now so am hoping I will start to see some more benefits soon....hope my sleep settles down too as I cant cope without my sleep!
Probably doesnt help that 3 of my dc have been poorly this week, and all seem generally tired and bad tempered!
I am back at work tomorrow unfortunately too....but only 2 days till the weekend!
Hope everyone else is doing OK

I haven't been diagnosed by a Doctor, to be honest I'm not really getting the answer I want from anyone. However, I've diagnosed myself due to my dark days being just before during and after my cycle.
Here goes !!
I've always been tired, but roughly 3 years ago I decided that after my first child I was happy with just one. I made the decision to start Depo the contraception injection. While being on this I didn feel right infact every month i felt like some days a black cloud would hover me, and there wasn't any way of getting out. I decided to come of the injection however since then and every month two weeks of my life ar just not worth living. I literally have to drag myself to do things. This month just passed I had 5 really bad days, the constant worry of how many I will have the following month is taking its toll on me. Each month is different entirely so I never know when I'm going to wake up feeling like it and never know when it will pass.
I started the Yasmin pill which is supposed to help with PMS PMDD ETC, this seemed to have helped for the first few months. It's not helping now. The hardest thing, is being a mother and having all the responsibility while feeling like it. When all I really want to do is stay in bed. I then just spring back to life for two weeks !!!!! And I can't tell you the relief I feel. I've even thought about having my womb removed... Drastic I know !! But PMS/PMDD is really beginning to ruin my life. Especially when I literally stay in my dressing gown all day and when I can.
With no support from anyone, and the husband just dosnt understand it's hard. I fight through the days for my child's sake...
I have now been prescribed Flu, and I'm day 5. I can't explain how reluctant I was to take it. As it seems stupid that I have to take a pill everyday and not just through the two weeks of which I struggle.
Touch wood I'm not experiencing major side effects, just a little insomnia. Don't really feel any different to be honest. I guess it will take a couple of weeks. I just need to feel all month like I feel for the two weeks after my cycle...... Be myself again. Sorry for the long story but haven't really spoke to anyone regarding this. And just needed to air how I feel. Haven't even told the husband im on Flu, as do not really want him using this against me in future arguments etc !!! :-(