to want to be sectioned in a Psychiatric Hospital?

[ReallyReallyNeedABreak]

I am going mad! I have suffered from severe anxiety for over 6 years now. I get the heart racing/palpatations, butterflies in stomach, lightheadedness, nausea, headaches, shakiness, jelly legs, numbness in hands/feet, muscle tremors, intrusive thoughts, hyper sensitivity to noise etc DAY IN DAY OUT. I have no idea what it feels like to feel 'normal' any more. I am a wreck. I have had tests, scans, seen consultants and it is all in my head. There is nothing medically wrong with me.

I know what I need to recover and that is PEACE to allow my frazzled nervous system to cool down and heal but with 4 DCs, a mountain of debt, living in temporary council housing, problems with 2 DCs at school, inability to find a job and lack of sleep due to DC4, that is bloody IMPOSSIBLE! I feel like I am never going to recover, so I may as well just kill myself instead (too scared to even do that, Ha). I carry on and do all that I need to do to run the house and look after the DCs because I have to but it feels like I am wading through mud. DH is supportive but losing patience.

I have asked my psychologist if I could be admitted to a hospital as I feel like a nutter and of course she said NO, I am not that bad apparently. I also don't need any more CBT, I need to recover myself rather than using CBT as a crutch . Can't take ADs as they make me feel worse.

Why can't I just have a month of intensive bloody counselling in a hospital so I can start feeling normal? I have no chance of going away for a holiday and no one to stay with here. I am a shadow of the person I used to be (and who I know is buried inside me still), I feel like I will never get back to being her again .

I'm sorry that you are going through hell. Do you have any friends or family who can give you support. Have you looked at what courses are available at your local children's centre. Often parenting courses provide a creche and going on a course would give you a bit of "you" time. Yesterday I did a workshop on stress management and relaxation. The workshop was taken by a mental health social worker and I was given strageries on how to cope with panic attacks and relaxation techniques.

Have you ever been inside a mental hospital? I think that you would find the reality very different from your expectation. I worked in a mental hospital doing IT support. It was a very caring place, but I wouldn't want to stay there.

Prehaps you need to look at different approaches to CBT. Prehaps mindfulness would help you get on top of your problems. I think that councelling can be addictive and sometimes the emotional dependence on a councellor end up being as much of a problem as what you originally went to councelling for.

Have you seen a pycharist? There are lots of different types of medication if you don't get on with ssri medications.

yes, i think it is BDD

very

Well Brucie, regardless of whether it is insensitive, it is a bit late now!

I suffer depression on and off and have written about this in my blog with tips on dealing with depression which I hope helps.

Look - your kids need you to be health and happy and so does your husband. Therefore it is in their best interests to help you. Depression is an illness, you cannot just pull yourself together any more than someone with a throat infection can snap out of it without anti-biotics. You are ill and for that reason you need treatment.

Now they will not section you without a bloody good reason because once you are sectioned, all control is taken away from you. You will not be able to make your own decisions, decisions will be made for you. Social Services WILL get involved as you are the main carer of your children. You will not be able to control what happens or when - you will be powerless to prevent anything happening. So what if your dh decides that he can't take weeks off work and your kids are put into temporary foster care? What if you decide that you are feeling better and want to go home but they refuse? What if they decide on a course of treatment that you hate but are powerless to stop?

Being sectioned is not the answer.

Right now Travelodge are doing rooms from £19 I think, book yourself a weekend away. You don't have to do anything, just re-charge your batteries, have a meal without anyone quibbling over the menu, go to the cinema to watch a film you like, lie in bed all day - do whatever you want to do. Your husband and the kids will survive for a weekend without you and it will be cheaper and less stressful than if you were sectioned.

Then when you have re-charged your batteries you go back to your GP and demand effective treatment. Because I don't know what, if anything, you are taking but whatever it is, it's not working.

Have you always felt depressed or is this a recent thing? Because if it's fairly recent (last few years) it could be down to hormones or thyroid and they can investigate that. If it's a long-term thing then they need to give you a long-term plan.

Start taking action and making decisions and trust me, you will start to feel more in control and a little bit better.

Yes of course, BDD, as no one's life circumstances change, do they? We should all be looking into that crystal ball that you have to avoid unexpected difficulties!

BDD - yes that's a very insensitive question. Crikey.

You need to see your GP urgently and get some AD's. They can try you with different ones. I'd never suffered from anxiety until I had a tough time a few years ago and wouldn't have through it without AD's. They calmed me down so I could deal with one issue at a time.

You need a break even if it's a night. Can you stay with a friend/family member leaving your kids with your DH?

BDD - well it's not very helpful is it? Just to answer your question, I often wonder that myself but the older 3 came along before I turned into a nervous wreck (I had a bereavement which probably started it off), the younger one was unplanned.

RRNAB, my anxiety attacks were triggered by my dads death, so I do think that a bereavement is a major trigger for many people. But it can get better. I am a million times better now than I was, but it is a vicious circle and the more you worry, the worse it gets.

A couple of days peace is what you need to start with. Do you not have any family at all that you can go and visit, just to lie in bed, read and sleep for 48 hours, with no interruptions etc. Yes, all that you left behind will still be there when you get back, BUT you will have had the time to regain your thoughts, and your energy. Sleep deprivation is one of the things that will make anxiety worse.

Have a plan of action, a day at a time. Make a list of all the things you need to do, get them done, and then rest. That really works too.

Anxiety is vile isn't it Really, sorry you are feeling so awful :(

Have ou given the antidepressants a proper chance? I know they can make you feel worse before they start making you feel better but you ought to be able to find one that will help. Have you tried propanalol?

I know you say you need time to wind down but a months with 4 kids is never going to happen so stop focussing on that. You do not want to be admitted to a mental hospital. What do you do for yourself? When my anxiety was at it's worse I took myself off to meditation classes a couple of times a week at the local Buddhist centre, it was a bit odd but it did help my brain stop whirring. The other thing that helped me is going out for a walk on my own. I completely get it when you say your're afftected by noise, I was too ( and light!) and just being on my own for a couple of hours in the park/woods helped me no end. I think a lot of anxiety is down to overstimulation, you might find some solitude and quiet will help.

Poor you. I'm not surprise you're feeling the way you are. You've got an awful lot on your plate and the debilitating effects of anxiety should never be underestimated - they can often feel worse than full-on depression (in which you can at least be numbed and not full of fear).

I agree that t ime in a psychiatric unit probably wouldn't be beneficial to you though. They are far from peaceful. What you need is a holiday. I know money is tight and your DH works, but if the pay-off is your health I think it's something you need to insist on. It needn't cost the earth and if your DH can't take a week off work to look after the DC for his wife's health, what can he take time off for?

When you come back, refreshed, you can start dealing with the root causes of our anxiety. The first thing you need to do is gather together all the information you possibly can on your debts and general finances and make an appointment to see either the CAB debt consultant or an independent debt advisor (make sure it's an independent one and not one of the debt-buying companies who work on commission and masquerade as debt help). Try looking at this site for further information or try calling the National Debt Line on 0808 808 4000. They'll give you excellent advice. You will probably be able to wipe out a significant proportion of your debt and consolidate the rest into a single monthly payment that you can afford, and it needn't involve bankruptcy or anything that dramatic (though it will affect your credit rating if you choose IVAs etc).

Then I'd take a long, hard look at who does what in your house. It needs to be fair. Even if your DH works hard in his job it's not your job to do everything with the DC. There are four of them and it's too much for one person. You need to make sure that both you and DH have equal amounts of free time so that neither of you ends up at the end of your tether again. If you've got older children, now is the time to get them involved in taking on their fair share of household chores, etc.

Get your GP or psychologist to write you a referral letter to the Council stating that you have anxiety problems and that living in temporary accommodation is exacerbating your condition. This will give you greater priority and hopefully get you housed somewhere more permanent. Also insist on more CBT and make sure your demand is recorded in your file in front of you. Any Dr that accuses you of using it as a crutch after just a 12-week course is talking rubbish and clearly more concerned about budgets than patient health. you'd have to have very minor problems indeed for a 12-week course to undo the mental patterns you've established over a lifetime. Point out that being denied more help and ending up sectioned because you have lost the plot will not only cost more money in the long term but will also reflect badly on the Dr who denied your please for help.

Go back to the school and say you want to get a grip on the problems and therefore think it's time to establish a plan of action, divided into three elements: things the school can do, things you can do, and things the DC concerned can do. Then everyone knows what is expected of them and you can work on fixing things.

People can cope with enormous amounts of stress and pressure. Problems arise when they are in a position where they can't exert any control over that pressure, which is the position you're in now. Taking steps like the above may feel like a mountain to climb, but I guarantee you'll feel better just for doing something and starting to take control. Just address one problem at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed (and get your DH to do some as well).

Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

Also some charities fund free UK holidays for families. It sounds as if you have a good chance of qualifying for this. I know it doesn't give you a break from the kids, but sometimes a change of scene does help. Citizens Advice should be able to tell you locally or Gingerbread.

My friend used to go to a Quaker Retreat for rest and recouperation. Iirc she said it was about £50 for 4 days - she used to say it was a life saver but that only works if you have support for the children.

If you have an emergency number - ring it - keep ringing it till you get some help/ Do you see a CPN? Are your kids young enough to have a HV still - does she know about how bad things are - she might be able to recommend Homestart or something similar.

I think since you have that amount of physical symptoms accompanying your anxiety, you really ought to reconsider medication.

What anti-depressants have you tried and for how long? What dosage also?

Have you considered something like xanax XR for a short term break? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alprazolam

I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist for a second opinion - your psychologist doesn't sound too helpful - if you were 'done' with CBT, you wouldn't be feeling this way.

Just to reiterate what above posters have said - if you are inpatient you get maybe a once a week 15min chat for "treatment" (and they don't really listen anyway..) , and the rest of it is being scared of the REALLY scarey other inpatients..... oh and not having any choice about when you even go to the loo...

Not nice places, believe me. You would do better going to a cheap hotel, campsite or B&B on your own for a bit,...

If you feel in crisis, phone the crisis team number and talk to them, that's what they are there for. They help people stay out of hospital, but also gatekeep for inpatient treatment too. They help you deal with the here and now.

PS I don't recommend being sectioned - they will try to get people in voluntarily if at all possible, and as others have said, inpatient is often not quiet, doesn't feel safe, and people are very, very unwell usually.

Is there anyway what so ever that you can stay in a cheap hotel for a night? I know you have money issues so may not be possible. But a night away from everything and eveyone may make all the difference to how you feel.

If you are serious about suicide please contact medics asap.

I agree with Rhubarb0 about the Travelodge/budget hotel for a couple of nights. I fantasise about doing that myself! Just lock yourself away in a hotel room for 2 nights and sleep, sleep, sleep (take a few sleeping pills if u need to) order room service,
listen to music, (I can reccommend a good song you may have heard of it: )

Watch some feel good films like: Forest Gump, The Persuit of Happiness etc
and buy some good self help books like: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0593056299/ref=s9_simh_co_p14_d0_g14_i2?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=left-2&pf_rd_r=1BKT6A21RV4HM1RDR32D&pf_rd_t=3201&pf_rd_p=466496393&pf_rd_i=typ01

Then go back to the doctors and ask about some anxiety drugs.

Doesnt look like my links work, but the song I was referring to is 'Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) whenever I am down this song always makes me have a good cry and I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Have a listen, it's on youtube

The book I was referring to was Paul McKenna's 'Control Stress: Stop Worrying and feel Good Now'

I know your issues are more serious than a song or good book, but it will maybe give you the little pick you up you need

Good Luck

If you are in London or the SE there is this place which looks much much nicer than a psychiatric hospital.

Has she not come back yet?
I hope the support she has had on here and the ideas help. I hope right now she is planning the rest and help that she needs.

Best of luck OP, I for one am thinking of you.

I have been sectioned twice and it is far from relaxing! They will MAKE you take anti-d's in there aswell. Just keep pushing with the dr for more help outside. You don't want to go to hospital!!! Good luck! xxx