does anyone feel the same

[missstripeysocks]

does anyone feel the same as i do?...had my baby boy in january which i am so happy about but ever since i had him i am suffering from low self confidence and i dont know why?
I just cant face anything I never go out and feel I have to push myself to get out the door whenever i do i feel as if people are judging me and i dont even know why...
sometimes the whole week has passed before I realise that I havent even left the house...
feel myself wanting to just shut myself away I dont feel depressed just scared for some reason..
I want to take my boy to playgroup but just cant face it everytime I pluck the courage up to go I chicken out and tell myself next week...
I have older children 19,18 and 12 and was never like this when they were babies...dont know if its because I am an older mum i am 39 and I just feel that I dont fit in anymore..some days I just stand at the window with my little boy just watching the world go by...
I have friends but their children are not babies I feel ive lost myself and am so lonley does anyone else feel the same or am i just weird!!

Hi MSS - why do you think you are not depressed (PND maybe as you have a 9 month child) you seem to be talking of the symptoms of depression, withdrawing, unable to get out of the door, scared (which is anxiety) and depression and anxiety are twins and it's not really possible sometimes to distinguish which is which. I am no medic by the way but a sufferer of dep/anx from time to time.

Of course you are not wierd - you say you feel you have lost yourself and again that's how depression feels - when I am having bad days I cry a lot and say "this isn't who I am" and this in itself is really scarey. Anxiety is the medical name for fear and you are afraid, and so am I when the bad times come. It is a scarey illness.

Would you not consider consulting your GP to discuss your symptoms and maybe go on ADs which can be a life saver. 1 in 6 people suffer at any one time, so if you make the appointment, just remember that there may be 2 or 3 people suffering the same as you. You won't be telling the GP anything he/she hasn't heard dozens and dozens of times before.

I have "seen" you on a recent thread but can't remember which one (I put that down to my great age - 67!)

Keep posting - sending you warm wishes and there will be brighter days ahead - honest. There is a MN on here (her nickname is Natsyloo) who suffered really bad PND and started a group for other mothers. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you put a call out for her. She is more or less through it but has the odd "blips" from time to time, but she's back at work and doing OK.

I agree with NN that it sounds like you may well be depressed. Depression does not always express itself in feeling sad and tearful. Not wanting to leave the house and in fact not leaving the house for a week is a sign that something is amiss, as is the idea that people are judging you. Maybe you should talk to your Health Visitor (if you have a decent one) or GP.

well thanks for replying...am not sure if it is depression only because i had it before and it all feels so differant ,perhaps it is and I am just in denial maybe i just dont want to admit thats how i am feeling or maybe i just need a big kick up the backside ...think the word i would use to describe myself is panicky is that depression? xx thankyou for the advice

Ah depression is a deceitful illness and can play all sorts of tricks on us - make us believe things about ourself that aren't true and one episode of depression may not be the same as another episode. I don't know if you are in denial but I certainly think you sound as though you are depressed and NO you absolutely do not need a big kick up the backside - this makes me think more about depression, because it tells us that there is something we should be doing to make ourselves feel better (this doesn't usually happen in a physical illness).

You say the best word to describe yourself is panicky and that really is severe anxiety or fear, or agitation. These can also be symptoms of depression and anxiety and depression almost always go together. You really do need to see your GP and describe your symptoms. It may be that you are more panicky than sad and tearful but that doesn't mean anything really, because there is something wrong and you need help to get it sorted. I think you have waited far too long to be honest if you have been feeling like this since January.

SO, make an appt on Monday and come back and tell us how you got on.