I hate my unborn baby

[Empjusa]

And I can't talk about it because obviously that makes me a cold hearted bitch and ungrateful too.

I don't know what's worse about all this. The fact that we were TTC for two years before, or that I'm only ten weeks in.

Don't know how I'm going to core with nine months.

I just want my body back already. I'm fed up with being sick, nauseous and tired all the time. I cant do anything about it, and I have the lack of control I have.

I'm also without antidepressants and painkillers. So struggling with preexisting issues. And this pregnancy just adds more on top.

I can't talk to anyone about how I feel, and if I dare mention that I'm hating pregnancy then I just get told that
a) it'll pass
b) there'll be a wonderful baby at the end
c) that I need to cheer up

Unsuprisingly none of there things help.

I feel like a freak :(

I wont be able to check this too often as DH would go mad if he knew I felt this way. He's so excited and spends so much time going on about how great a baby will be. He thinks I'm being moody when I should be happy.

I absolutely hated being pregnant - there is nothing wrong with feeling like this, but please talk to your GP about pain relief and anti depressants. Am I right in thinking you have

My first pregnancy was terrible - I couldn't walk, was constantly ill, had terrible insomnia, a pre-existing condition flared up (Fibromyalgia) and was depressed. I had zero attachment to the baby growing inside of me. In fact the midwife became concerned at my scan at 32 weeks as when she asked about my thoughts on giving birth I just said "I can't cope with thinking more than half an hour ahead and haven't really wrapped my head around the fact that there is a baby at the end of it". She called in a senior MW to talk to me whilst my DM gaped at me as she hadn't realised how low I had become due to me bottling it up.

Please try to talk about this with someone - everyone around me was so much happier knowing EXACTLY how I felt - that way it wasn't some big secret and they could help me when I was at my lowest. They helped explain what was going on in my head when I couldn't, and knew I would need extra watching after the birth due to the risk of developing post natal depression.

I know my post may seem bleak, but I promise you it is better to have everyone on the same page (GPs, parents, friends, partner, ante-natal HCPs) than to feel so alone and depressed.

FWIW, I totally fell in love with my DS when I first saw him, despite the tears and pains that had happened during the pregnancy. And now I have another one with the same depression during pregnancy and the same pain, but this time I felt more in control as I knew it was coming and wasn't so blind sided by it all. I hope it gets a bit easier for you Empjusa

My doc told me that she thought I should stay on my antidepressants as I had already had them in my system and that before I'd gotten pregnant also it would start other problems in mood so her advice would be to stay on them! Maybe go bk and speak to your gp
Best wishes

My pregnancy was horrendous. I became suicidal and the midwife called SS out 3 weeks before my due date. I didn't believe it was a baby our (dp and I)joke was that I was having a dolphin as the whole process just would not compute (I do not have a maternal bone in my body). The birth was grim as I was terrified I would hate the thing on sight for causing so much stress angst and pain. However and I know that this is a cliche which you probably don't want to hear but as soon as he was out (I demanded a C section after a failed induction because I was so terrified I genuinely feared I would become psychotic) everything was OK. Try to hold on, ignore the pregnancy as much as possible, as focusing on and dreading the future just makes everything worse and emphasizes that you are reacting in a different wy to other pregnant women (most of whom I wanted to stab for their bovine acceptance of their situation). Antenatal depression however affects upto 10% of pregnant women. Even so the medical profession seem to have no idea how to deal with it and in my experience instead seem absolutely obsessed with post natal depression (I imagine they must be incentivised to deal with pnd).
Everyone just kept saying it will be alright when the baby arrives which seemed like the most frightening thing of all and made me feel even more issolated and freakish. I now find myself in the bizare position of regurgitating this platitude.
Avoid other pregnant women and do not compare yourself to them when the baby is here then you can begin to be the type of parent that suits you which will also suit YOUR child (I still hate the word mother and my son now 2 does not call me Mummy).
I loved him ferrociosly at first sight that is not to say that all is good all the time today I would gladly return him from whence he came or put him out for recycling However when you recognise your child as your own there really is no going back and I promise you will feel differently. Incidently although this makes me sound very agressive I did not have a day of pnd in spite of a very difficult babyhood, my expectations were so low that the reality could never have been as bad as I feared and I had completely failed to take into consideration that loving him with a passion compensates for a lot. Hang in there, I feel for you I really do.

I also hated being pregnant could not understand how anyone could enjoy it!
I was sick, tired, slow, loved the idea I was growing another human but this was totally in my head, my body was miserable at the same time.

I reckon that it is probably more common to find it hard than the opposite but its taboo to talk about it like this which is what make these threads so helpful.

I had three in the end!

I'm in same situation except all one my own :(

Hiya kirstie

You are never alone with MN, there are always loads of people here who understand and can give good advice and support.

Can I suggest you maybe start a new thread of your own? People will answer,

Fwiw I felt very similar in pregnancy particularly with my second child, too.

Sorry Kirsty not kirstie!

HATE this pregnancy!!!!!!! but sssssssssssssh hubby is so excited that i would rather smile and lie just how happy i feel, wen infact i feel to strangle him in his sleep for doing this to MY BODY.............everything is changing for the worse....my nausea, sore boobs, hyperemesis gravidarum, and to think just when i gave the 20 year old chicks in botswana a run for their money (jealous biatches) with my ageless wrinkle free skin, stunning locks and gorgeous fashion plus LB's and I GET KNOCKED UP at 38!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am angry, am sad, am depressed and i am afraid... its all my fault cos i should have told him 4 kids are enough......but i didnt and i was careless too cos this was a beeeeeeeeeeeeeg surprise....:( i just am grateful that i can share with u all just how unhappy i am. JUST When i was in my element, sucessful businesswoman, mum...perfect figure ;) loved looking in the mirror and i get knocked UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #in shock

Hi - I found this old thread by a google search as I am feeling exactly the same as OP

I wonder how this faired out for you? Hope you get an alert and are still active and you can let me know! :)