I was diagnosed bipolar 10 years ago and have had real problems getting it under control. I have tried loads of combinations and doses of meds and treatments and have still been having 3-4 episodes a year (mania and depressive).
Anyway 7 months ago I was in a manic episode and was sectioned after acting like a complete loon for several weeks accumulating in me sitting on my parents roof for 10 hours in the rain. I felt like I was getting somewhere in the hospital and have felt really stable for about 5 months (longest time since diagnosis) I was sort of pressured into coming out of hospital on a community treatment order cos my parents were struggling with my 10 month old daughter and she would have ended up in care (dad not in the picture). Things is I have been out for 2 weeks and have noticed my sleep is becoming really eratic and this is what happens before i go into a deppressive. I think I came out of hospital too early but was petrified of my daughter going into care and now i just feel like a failure cos if i start feeling depressed i will be no good to her. I have also recently found myself thinking i was wrong to have her cos i can barely look after myself at times never mind her. I just dont know what to do...