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how do i help my friend who's been abused?

2 replies

perfumelady · 01/12/2005 09:50

a good friend has told me that she was abused when she was a child by her brother. in the last two years she has split up from her husband who was her child hood sweet heart and father to her children. she found another man who brought out a lot of confindence in her, but in the last few days they have just split up, her children are playing up( they didn't like the last man)and they were the main cause of her split, he couldn't cope with there behavour.

her middle child and youngest child have got real anger problems which on top of everything else she is finding hard to deal with. she has very low self esteem she thinks she looks bad and that men only want her for one thing. i think she looks fab.

i don't know how to help her she has been to the doctor who has given her pills for depression but she couldn't tell the doc the real underlying problem because she says she feels dirty and that the whole abuse thing was her fault. she tried a syciatrist once but was unable to tell him either.

she has gone 20 years with this terrible secret and i'm the only person she has ever told because she said her brother is a blue eyed boy and know one would have ever beleived her.

am i right in thinking that this abuse 20 years ago is the cause of all her problems now, what is the next step forward? how do i help her? she doesn't want to confront her brother and she doesn't want her family to know.

OP posts:
saadia · 01/12/2005 22:34

I think you're right that the abuse is causing all her problems. I think the most helpful thing for her would be counselling but I'm not sure how you'd go about convincing her. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along soon. This is so sad, I hope she does manage to overcome this awful experience.

fireflyfairy2 · 01/12/2005 22:45

She needs to have some degree of counselling. Is there a place called NEXUS where you are at?

Once she has counselling she will find strength she never knew she had, she may not have the confidence to ever confront her brother or to share her terrible ordeal with anyone else, but the counselling will help her see that she is not to blame xx

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