ups and downs, mood swings

[alwaysblue]

ive posted before about being down and generally feel now that things are ok. however sometimes i really feel things getting on top of me and tiny things can make me feel im at the very end of my rope. i have a 16month old who is very clingy and who doesnt sleep very well. sometimes i get so frustrated with him, i feel i must be a terrible mother and how could i possible ever have another child when i cant cope with one? im at work 4 days a week too, so am pretty exhausted. im worried about cracking.

does anyone else feel their moods swinging quite dramatically or like theyre either going to explode or collapse? sometimes i think i might be depressed but then think i must be overreacting cos sometimes im ok

Im the same alwaysblue i have felt like this for years, i get terrible mood swings, for the last couple of days ive felt really bad and felt like i cant go on and today i feel great, things that were worrying me to death for the last couple of days and causing major anxiety seems to be no problem today, i just wish i could be like this everyday, i spent about 3 days having anxiety attacks over a phone call i had to make then today got up made the phone call and it was done in 2 mins, all sorted and now i just feel stupid about being anxious in the first place, ive seen me having lots of different moods in one day, ive always had worse problems with mood swings during the run up to my period and now im peripausal but i still get worse mood swings when my period is meant to be even though i dont get one IYSWIM.

Bless you, you are stressed... I don't believe we are really designed to work 4 days a week on top of caring for a little one, although I totally get why people are doing so.

I think really you have to differentiate between "mood swings" and just some days feeing more anxious than usual. I say this because mood swings of an intense nature are usually associated with bipolar disorder (as in swinging from hypomania and elation to the depths of depression). Sorry I'm not a medic but have suffered from severe episodes of depression and anxiety and am still not fully recovered after a major episode last Easter - get blips that can last for around 5 - 7 days every few weeks.

It seems to me that you are talking about exhaustion and anxiety and feeling a bit worthless, which are really all symptomatic of depression and of course anxiety and depression usually go hand in hand so to speak. From what you have said I think it is highly likely that you are depressed/anxious though maybe in a mild form at present. Working 4 days a week with a toddler and being sleep deprived is a very tall order, and I think sometimes the everydayness grinds young mothers down. I think you should visit your GP and talk about how you have been feeling. They usually have a sort of check list that they use to diagnose depression as distinct from just feeling "a bit down" - if you are diagnosed with depression you may be prescribed ADs which can be a life line. You may also need some time off work to re-charge your batteries.

Be kind to yourself and don't expect too much of yourself. Have you any RL friends/family in whom you can confide, or an H or P?