Feel sorry for my mum

[MascaraOHara]

Sorry didn't know where to put this

I think my mum is depressed, I think that's the long and short of it. I can never remember her been happy tbh but it's always just been that way. Her and I had a rocky (to say the least) relationship until dd was born but now it's ok.

We were chatting the other day and she was saying how she just worries all the time, she can't sleep for worrying

She picks the skin on her fingers until they bleed.

She rarely eats a square meal yet says how fat she is (at 5'6 and a small size 10 she is far from fat)

Sorry I could go on about the way she is but to get to the point she infuriates me, she's so miserable yet she doesn't want help. I have suggested going to the doctors or seeing a councellor and she just laughs it off and tells me not to be stupid, I've suggested she try

a homeopathic(sp?) remedy but she says she doesn't believe in that
one of these lavender sniffy things that are supposed to help relax you - she doesn't like lavender
Kalms (type things) - nope
Aeromatherpy candles before bed - doesn't like them
Accupunture/massage - doesn't like massages

I feel like she's making excuses to stay miserable and it infuriates me. I've run out of things to suggest and she just dismisses them all anyway. She only has a couple of friends but she's so negative about them I'm surprised they bother.

I really feel sorry for her, my dad works away a lot and she just rattles round the house. I've suggested joining a gym/getting a hobby or even getting a part time job but all have been met with a non response.

She's only happy when dd is around but then she makes me feel like I'm putting on her if I ask her to have dd any extra.

Am just frustrated and would like to help her but have run out of ideas. It's almost like she doesn't want help. Does anybody know what I mean(?)

Sorry this has turned out to be really really long.

I could have written this. My mother's depression has driven a wedge between us and in the end I had to point that out to her to try and get the situation to change. I managed to arrange some counselling for her and got her to talk to her GP. She gave the counselling up and now exists on anti-depressants.

Sadly one of the cmptoms of depression is an unwillingness to want to change the situation - it feeds on itself and it's a viscious circle.

All I can say is be as supportive as you can but you also have to tell her how it is. Only she can help herself I'm afaid.

symptoms, that is. there's no such thing as cmptons.

She's never been diagnosed as having depression and I think she would tell anyone who hinted she was depressed where to go really but I just don't see any other explanation. She (in my eyes) has nothing to worry about - she's pushing 60 my parents are quite comfortable financially etc she just makes things to worry about.

I also think she has slight OCD.

She's a fabulous artist but rarely paints these days, it's almost like she thinks she shouldn't. Like it's an indulgence. I dont' know, I don't really understand her.

I suggested trying yoga but she said she did once and couldn't relax. I love yoga and said I'd go with her if I could get a babysitter but again a non responses, I was tempted to book us both in for accupunture or reflexology or something as her Christmas present but feel a bit weird about it as I really don't think she'd enjoy it.

I don't know maybe I should just leave her to it but she I feel like she's missing so much in life. feel like kicking her up the bum... I even said to her the other day "I don't know how you get through life when you worry about things so much" she worries about everything!