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Original poster

Worried I am slipping a bit

14 replies

LawrieMarlow · 15/07/2011 23:54

Have general depressive tendencies although have been off ADs since late 2009 after some v successful CBT in 2008.

H and I separated in April and since then have been very busy with work until this week. I think my mind has started to relax a bit as I can feel the negative thoughts trying to get in and the thoughts of wanting to harm myself are intruding more.

I have various things planned (trip to London for the children and me and then holiday at the beginning of August) which I know I will want to do (more for the children than for me but a step in the right direction). Then DD's birthday in September. But I can't think further than that and can't really see any point in going on. I know that is rather negative and I don't want to be, but I am feeling so sad. Maybe am mourning the loss of the relationship now I have the time to do it?

Have been using Moodscope which is showing my scores getting worse each day. Suppose it is indicating to me I need to do something other than keep eating chocolate.

This all feels very self indulgent - probably helps a bit just typing it even if no one does reply

OP posts:
NoWittyName · 16/07/2011 16:11

Well done for noticing that things aren't going well.

Please ask for help before it gets too bad. I know that's kind of what you've done here, but you won't get face to face advice. Have you got a GP you can talk to?

Don't let it get too far. For your own sake as well as that of your children.

Sending big hugs. xxx

Original poster
LawrieMarlow · 16/07/2011 16:25

Thank you for replying Smile. It does mean a lot.

Have realised I am having my version of a period at the moment (have a coil (although fat lot of point at the moment Grin)) but get occasional spotting which is often preceeded by feeling emotional. Shall see how I feel next week and if it doesn't get better will go to my GP.

Am useless at telling anyone about how I feel - am maintaining very bright and breezy air but might be time to tell some people I suppose.

Have also gone on the waiting list for counselling which should happen around September. Which is another thing to keep going for.

Thank you again :)

OP posts:
NoWittyName · 16/07/2011 23:46

I'll keep checking back so feel free to unload at any point.

I hope it is just hormones, but do be honest with yourself and then with others if it becomes necessary.

xx

NoWittyName · 17/07/2011 21:11

Hope your weekend has ended okay. xxx

Original poster
LawrieMarlow · 17/07/2011 22:16

Thank you for coming back here again :)

Have had better weekends but suppose tomorrow is another day. Talked to H a bit last night as he came round here for a bit after dropping DD off and told him about the depression possibility. Probably helped a bit although still feeling rubbish in general.

Have made pre-emptive appointment to see GP on Tuesday (online booking system v useful). Will keep checking in here I think.

OP posts:
NoWittyName · 18/07/2011 09:00

Well done for talking to H. Even though it can sometimes feel horrible talking about it, it is better to have other people watching out for you.

Think your pre-emptive appt is very sensible. Hope it gets you some help.
xx

midnightservant · 18/07/2011 14:16

You currently have a 3 month plan, which covers the period of the summer holidays. IMHO this is more than enough to cope with for the time being :)

Take care xxx. Brew (milky coffee for me today!)

cjel · 18/07/2011 14:23

Glad you made appt just in case. If you nip it in the bud recovery could be much faster, If your therapy was good you could always go back for a short while, I dip in and out over the years and find it great. Hope your blip is short and you have a great summr and beyondxxx

Original poster
LawrieMarlow · 18/07/2011 15:03

Thank you everyone. Am feeling a little less grey right now which is good. And have cleaned the kitchen a bit which sounds a slightly odd thing to feel good about but is quite an accurate representation of general well being.

Now of course can't decide whether tp go to doctors tomorrow...

OP posts:
midnightservant · 18/07/2011 15:17

Hah! Been there, done that Wink. Just because you feel better cos of cleaning the kitchen doesn't mean you shouldn't see your doctor.

Brew (tea, milk no sugar, and ciggie)

midnightservant · 18/07/2011 15:17

bugger where's the strike through?

Original poster
LawrieMarlow · 18/07/2011 17:15

I think the kitchen cleaning happened because I was feeling a bit better if that makes any sense. Will probably go along to see doctor tomorrow although feel a bit silly saying I was feeling awful and now not so bad Blush.

OP posts:
cjel · 18/07/2011 21:39

Dr really won't mind if you are not feeling your worst at the appointment time!!!! Be glad you feel well enough to and go for the help you need. Those damn Drs don't ever work when you want them at 4 in the morning!!!

midnightservant · 19/07/2011 10:01

Unless you are severely manic Grin Grin

Sorry, couldn't resist. Possible bad taste joke.

(no brew, but several Wine last night)

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