Stigma and other things...

[MuddyMcMud]

Hello,

Not really sure where to start. I have an appointment with the GP tomorrow, and i'm not even sure how i'm going to explain it.

I have polycystic ovaries syndrome, and i have mood swings. I don't go from extremes of highs to lows - i get terrible moods at times. The majority of these are aimed at my partner. It has gotten so bad - we've had a horrible week of rowing - that he has basically said 'get help because we can't go on like this.' That's the reason why i've made the GP appointment.

I don't know if the hormonal imbalance of the pcos is partly the cause of the mood swings. I have very low self esteem. I didn't have a great childhood, and then i was married to a man who was very abusive towards me. Even when i got with my partner, my ex continued to harrass and stalk us, to the extent where he paid 2 men to beat up my partner, and where we have had to move twice to get away from him. The police are no use, but that's another story.

I also have a 4 month old daughter. She is the light of both of our lives - and another reason why i know i need to sort these problems out. I don't want her to think her mother is a loony.
So, life has been stressful, but my partner and i love one another, and we love our daughter, and i know that i need to get my moods sorted.

But i'm worried about the 'stigma' if i'm prescribed anti-depressants. I know that this is stupid. I know of many people on ad's and have never thought negatively about them at all. I work in a job which requires a medical cert from a GP, and i'm worried that this will reflect badly on my career prospects.
I also don't know how i'm going to explain how i'm feeling to the GP, when i'm not even sure myself.

Sorry that this is a bit rambling and disjointed. Any advice anyone could give on what similiar experiences they have from going to the GP would be gratefully received.
I'm frightened about what to expect, and that the GP might try to claim i have PND, despite the fact i have felt like this long before i was ever even pregnant. It hasn't gotten any 'worse' as such, since having the baby - only that we now have the added stress of money worries since i'm now on maternity leave, and we have no support from any family or friends.

Thanks.

There is no stigma imo. The fact is you've recognised there's somethng you need help with, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I think the idea of there being a stigma is a big barrier to a lot of people accepting help. In my experience, I have never felt judged, by a doctor or a friend, for being on any kind of medication for my mental health. I have been on both anti depressants and anti anxiety meds in my time, and am now on neither. They helped me through difficult times, and definately did help. In the long run, maybe see if your GP can refer you for relevant counselling if you feel it would help. CBT was amazing for my anxiety.

Agree with BooBooGlass and sorry you are having such a hard time Muddy but would question your use of the word "loony" - it is expressions like this that help to keep the stigma of mental illness alive and well. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm, but can you see how the use of these words, which I know everyone uses at times, barmy, nutter, mad, loopyloo etc all contribute to the stigma.

1 in 4 people will suffer from depression at some point in their lives (if indeed this is what is causing your problems, but do see your GP asap