Some advice please!

[binaberry]

I could really do with some advice and propping up!
I don't mean any offence to anyone that posts in this section but as long as I've been on this site I've always thought 'that'll never be me' iykwim, and have rapidly realised that no matter how you deal with things depression can still get you!
I'm a very very laid back kind of person and have always found that problems that would bowl others over wash over me - which is why I always thought, I realise now arrogantly! that I'd never suffer.
I have found myself in a situation where I have so many things that I can't dismiss in my usual manner i.e money worries and severe problems with ex regarding dd, and have found myself in a blind panic and spiralling rapidly into depression over my inability to cope.
I saw my GP yesterday after having to admit to myself that I truly was unable to cope and have been given ad's.
The problem I have now is that having admitted to the gp that I can't cope, and having to tell my mother(long story!) about it all, I am finding that things are a lot worse! It's like now I've let it out it won't stop, I don't think I've stopped crying since yesterday, I feel like I'm losing all control and I'm terrified

You have taken a really importand and very difficult step, well done. Read your post as if someone else typed it - wouldn?t you be impressed that they have made the difficult decision to see their GP and to talk about it with family? I know it is hard because I have done it too. Very hard - and I did it over a year later than I should have, but a long story.
It is not surprising that once opened the flood gates, it feels hard to stop. Just think of it a bit like having flu - the symptoms are horrible but all part of your body?s way of fighting the problems and getting on top of it all.
It is not worse - it is just the same as a couple of days, just now you have stopped pushing it away and have had the strength to let it out and deal with it.
How is your mum? Can she give you some support through this and perhaps help with the practical things like babysitting to give you time to yourself?
I found list making really helpful when everything got on top of me - writing out all the worries and putting them into piles - one for things that needed imediate action, one for worrying about another day and wading through them. Things like clothes washing became jsut as scary as money worries for me, but as there was so much on my list, clothes washing was becoming all out of proportion, along with other stupid things like "and I haven?t even sorted out my Xmas card list..." type nonsense. By writing it all down, prioritising it, making that appointment with the bank, going out and buying my Xmas cards, all little jobs, I could calm myself down, feel a bit more in control of my life and face up to the really big issues like mortgage, solicitors etc.
One day at a time, one issue at a time, you can do it. By going to the GP and speaking to your mum, you have made massive first steps - be proud of yourself and don?t ever feel alone. When you feel like you are losing it, keep talking it through, try to get it all in perspective and think positively about what you can do yourself and what you need help doing - and ask for it.
Be brave. Hope today seems brighter xx

Thank you so much for replying fireworks! What you said about list making and clothes washing made me lol! I have always made lists, as I said before I am very laid back to the point of being extremely lazy sometimes!! and have learnt that if there are things that need doing I need to write a list and work through it.
The last few weeks my lists have been written and while writing out what needs doing I feel better, but when it comes to working through what I need to do - I just don't have the energy or the inclination and then I feel a million times worse for not doing it! This morning I am looking at the things I need to do, and it really is just mundane domestic things, washing being top of the list and I'm getting panicky about having so much to do and just feel like curling up in bed
I know the ad's will help once they kick in, right now though I feel so completely out of control and dissasociated with normal life it's really scaring me.
My mum ws actually very good when I told her what was happening with me, but she is also on ad's and had been in a far more horrendous state than I am, and I hate having to rely on her, she did however take dd from me last night and I won't be getting her back till this evening, which is a help but stupidly is making me more panicky thinking 'I have no excuse not to do all of these things I need to do' yet knowing I'm never going to get it done!!
Sorry I realise I'm rambling, but It really does help to get it out!

hi binaberry
I've just come back form GP's with packet of ad's - am suffering from severe anxioetty & stress and also have ongoing hell with ex etc.
If we had heart problems we'd take the pills - if life was'nt kicking us in teeth we would be fine - we need some help to keep our health together and look after our kids. Well done for being brave and getting to GP (took me longer than it should).....I think crying is fine (although gives crappy headache); get it out of your system and start practising at being a bit more selfish.
Look after you - do anything that you like but say no to stuff you hate - me I'm going to watch richard & judy every day and give up ironing.
very best of luck to you - ad's will work. I'm trying to cultivate the hidden scarlett o'hara.....anyone who thinks it will never happen to them 1 in 4 people........

Yeah, well done binaberry. you will get through this and things do get better again.

If the house becomes less beautiful while you have a good cry, nice bath, chill out, make the most of the break your mum is giving you, so what?? Well, until you run out of clothes. Even then, I know one of my friends when in one of her worse patches just went out and bought her ds an extra set of cheap clothes a couple of times cos no washing done! Obviously that doesn't help the money problems though, so you might want to stop a bit short of that point!

Ramble away, it doesn't hurt us to listen (well read)

Thanks everyone, I love the idea of giving up ironing girlymomma, I might just try that myself!
I had more hassle from ex yesterday so ended up having a really bad day and lying on the couch doing absolutely nothing at all.
Am feeling more positive this morning though, have decided for dd we will put up our xmas tree up on the 1st and I will get all of the house sorted out before then. I know I'll feel a lot better with myself when the place looks a lot less like a bomb hit it! So am going to do a bit each day until next week and hopefully will have a lovely house and pretty decorations on the 1st
It's amazing how much not having domestic things done can get you down, I think the state of the house atm is making me feel even more out of control.

good plan binaberry. good luck!